Friday, 06/04/04 - 11:00 pm.
Today's midterm was a little easier than I thought, so I'm strangely confident and calm right now.
I looked out the window tonight, on my way home. That wasn't so bad, was it?, I asked myself. "That" is everything I've bitched and moaned about these past two weeks. I'm glad I'm almost done with midterms, there's only one left, tomorrow. Although I still have two researches, a lab and a quiz left, the midterms will be a huge weight off my back.
Tomorrow there's going to be a mass in memory of Ern, at 11 o'clock. Then we have the midterm, at 2 o'clock. I can't wait until it's over. So do my friends.
My friends (Angie, Victor, Irene, Victoria)...they've had rough weeks, as well, it's not just me. Some are dealing with exes, some are dealing with jobs, some are dealing with 7th grader brain injuries (that'd be Irene, she's the PE teacher at the ESJ, our school, and saw a boy convulsing, because he'd hit his head against the basketball court...then he went unconscious). They're all very stressed, some even catching the flu (the same flu I've had over the week...it's torture). And we have in common the midterms, labs, quizzes, researches, and Ern's death. It's been terrible for all of us, to each of us in a different way, but all of us could be seen freaking out, swearing out loud or just tired, with our head in our hands, about to break down.
But it's almost over. Almost over. You have no fucking idea how good it feels to say that, when three days ago I could not even think of an ending for these weeks. We'll take the rest of the weekend off. We were supposed to get together on sunday to work on our researches, but I know we're a mess. We need a break. Just one day.
"Listen, dad...can I call you dad? I am the perfect guy for your daughter...my friends even call me the Messiah, I have followers everywhere. Just tell me what you want. I can bring back the dead, you know? look", and I shoot my bodyguard..."get up, motherfucker" and he gets up. "Oh, yeah, I do it all the time, piece of cake. Just one thing, dad: I am frightened by crosses, take them away from me".
That was yesterday, when he was imagining all the ways he could introduce himself to my parents. I thought it was worth-mentioning, ok? I mean, I forgot to mention it yesterday, but it was definitely worth-mentioning.
Have I said I am crazy about Joseph? I am. And he's crazy about me. He stayed with me the whole afternoon, from 2 to 6:30 today, while I was studying. Could you please give me five minutes...of you, without your books?. I gave him fifteen. I mean, we were stuck like glue to each other the whole time, but I was studying.
And something happened. Well, not quite "happened", but it was about to happen...or kind of happened. I always thought no, no way in hell I'll accept that from anyone, no, NO. Absolutely not. But I was with him, we were sitting on the grass, and it just sort of happened. It was funny. Good funny. I liked it. I am in love with him, so much. And he never stops saying he adores me.
I am in love with him, and Jesus, Christ, Lord, I have to go study for tomorrow's midterm.
prev / next