Thursday, 12/20/01 - 9:11 p.m..
Here's today: stayed with the kids, played and did some housework. That was basically it. It sounds boring, I know. It wasn't boring, but it wasn't fun either. In the afternoon, Michelle came over, we baked cookies and for almost the whole afternoon, Rebeca and Michelle fought. I won't go there, it's something that happens to almost every kid. And just for the record, we didn't go to the school playground, like we had planned.
Yesterday Denise, Rebeca and I went "shopping", to this christian store. Denise told me later that everything was 50% off because they were closing the place. It was a really cool place and I felt really bad to know that it was closing. It's like I'd shopped there for a long time. When I was little, people made me think that religion and God is this serious, mystical thing, and everything good is up there, you always have to sit straight or you'll go to hell and if you listen to rock music and Barney's music backwards, you'll hear a message from the Devil. Well, actually, there's a hidden message if you play backwards Aerosmith's Sweet Emotion. But it's a tie between "Thank you, Frank" and "Fuck you, Frank". I haven't heard that myself, but this Frank does deserve both. Anyway, Eventually I grew up and learned how to handle religion. Not use it as an excuse to justify your acts but to let it be your guide. Ok, no more preaching.
This store was....kinda cute. A lot of cool things. But what impressed me the most wasn't inside the store. Outside, there was a little bird stuck in the ceiling. The ceiling looked like huge concrete bricks, one glued to another and the bird was in a gap. I could only see her tail moving desperately and listen to her, chirping so hard it broke my heart. I felt so fucked up about it. But I got in the store. And I couldn't help thinking if it was right or wrong to have discovered her, since after all, I really couldn't do anything to save her, only pray. First I wondered how she got there. Obviously not from above. But anyway you see it, it was really hard to tell how the hell she got in there. So, first, I analyzed the "material" side of the problem. Second, I analyzed the deeper side. Life is...quite subjective. Like wind. You feel it but you can't see it. You see it thru things but you don't see the essence of it. I was expecting when we'd get out, she would be dead already. I was hoping she'd die. As you can tell, I gave up my hopes. We got out of the store. And she wasn't there anymore.
I'm sensing these days will be quite dull. And please let's not talk about what happens after christmas...well, I have to, sorry. On the 27th, Denise's aunt and her three kids are coming over. In that package comes the other teenager, whom Denise says I've already met, but honestly I don't remember him, and frankly, I don't care. I don't feel the need of being reminded who he is, let alone get along with him and his baby siblings.
On the 28th, Denise's mom is coming over, too. So instead of five people, we're going to be ten. The Real World, Somalia. I mean, let's face it. There's only one bathroom. Well, two, if we count the one in Denise's and Renan's bedroom. But there's only three bedrooms. Six chairs in the dining room. In a few words, this is a house for no more than six people. This is going to suck big time. And I'll top it off...they actually want to travel! The Space Center, Dallas, San Antonio...I've overheard them on the phone. *sigh*. They're not even my family.....wait...are they? They're Denise's relatives and Denise is a relative of mine...say it isn't so!!!...where does this family of-my-sister-in-law bound end?
Surprise, surprise. My brother (the one at home) did something to my MSN messenger. Of course I'm not mad at him, I know he didn't do it in purpose and I know he's sorry. I logged in and I found out that all of my contacts were deleted and the ones who remained were blocked. On the other hand....my niece is watching a Shirley Temple movie. I know, totally off-topic. Which means I'm lacking of common sense already.
And the problem is...these days will be totally dull. The days are just packed. With nothing to look forward to, not even christmas. I was asked what I wanted for a present today. What should I ask for? Clothes? Oh, sure. Money? Oh, sure. Shoes? Oh, sure. Well, is there something else I could ask for and actually get? *sigh*, no. Apparently, Master Card didn't realize that some things that money can't buy, can't be gotten even if you have the things you can. Anyway, christmas is not about receiving....but I just can't help waiting for a miracle. Hell, maybe I'll get run over by a reindeer.
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