Tuesday, 06/22/04 - 10:55 pm.
I heard Steven Tyler (the "guy from Aerosmith", dammit!) will be a grandpa. And I feel so, so happy for him and his family. And that is all.
Things have not changed between Angie and Victor since yesterday. No, wait, they have...they're worse. Angie's ex-boyfriend (the one after Victor) is with another girl now. I saw him today. Just three days after the break-up with her.
This is all like a soap opera, or more like Spiderman 2...ok, I have not seen it, of course, but I saw the trailer and it's very emotive. So it's like that...and I'm stuck in between the both of them, but by my own will. I really wish Angie loved Victor, and I told Victor his first mistake was to think of himself as "not good enough" for her.
It's a terrible mess of shattered hearts, seriously. I tried to talk to Angie today, but she went off with another girl who's quickly become her friend. I'm glad about that, that she's got a friend, but still, I got a little hurt. I told you we'd talk today, I told you I was going to skip class just so we could talk..., I said to her...er, inside my head (I did end up skipping class, but to be with Joseph *cough*). Then in class she sat at the back, and I went to sit with her (leaving Irene and Victoria...but Irene supported me, "yes, go with her"), but the same girl had already taken the seat next to Angie. I had to sit by myself, away from Irene and Victoria, and away from Angie. I was hurt again, but it was a good thing: Victor came in and he sat next to Irene. It'd have been awful if he had sat at the back, with Angie.
So I keep talking with Angie and Victor. With her on the phone, with him online. Both are completely fucked-up. I just listen and help them sort things out. But there are so many things to sort out...and I am really frustrated.
Actually, I am quite happy myself. A little overwhelmed by this end of semester, but I have Joseph. He's got me happy, and so I'm strong enough to deal with all my friends' issues. And just for the record, I'm not doing this "for the experience" of being a psychologist. This has got nothing to do with "giving therapy". I listen to them, because they're my friends, and I love them, and I want them to be happy, and if I can help them to be happy, then I'm all for it.
Fer (Joseph's friend, who became my friend) has problems, too. You know, the I'm lonely and brokenhearted type. I really enjoy our conversations, and we've grown to become online pals (as I don't see him a lot at the university). He trusts me a lot, he even gave me the password to his e-mail account. All I can say is that you never stop learning from people.
So maybe this entry is a little empty. It's because I've typed it between the silences of my conversations with brokenhearted friends. I'm grateful for Joseph, because without him, I'd probably be cutting myself right now, out of frustration and too-much-empathy for my friends' situation. And aaawww, he gave me a black wristband today. Don't even get me started on that fucker.
Victor: Thanks for everything, *me*. Thank you for helping me, and Angie.
After three hours of talking about delicate subjects with a brokenhearted person, it's strange that that's the only thing that's left me speechless. And it makes it all worth it.
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