Furious weather and frightening dream.
Thursday, 06/24/04 - 9:56 pm.

Because I left the Biological Basis of Behavior class yesterday (I had a meeting with a professor), I missed the announcement the professor made at the end: no class today. See, I didn't know, so I was standing outside the classroom today at 3:30, like the loser I am.

I wasn't informed of the cancelation until 3:45. Actually, I figured it out by myself, because I am, you know, clever *cough*. I had to turn in a paper at 4:30, so did Victoria. And to kill time, we, uh...killed time. We turned it in, I discovered I had a good average in that subject (Theories of Personality) and I said goodbye to her, because on thursday she misses class to go to church. She's very religious, yes. I'd like to tell her "give my regards to Jesus", but I'm not taking risks.

Joseph and went to the coffeehouse afterwards. He always has a story to tell about his life, and maybe one day I'll get myself to write a book about him. I'd like to find another word to describe what we do, because making out is not really it. But let's leave it like that for now. We made out, before my class.

During class it started to rain. It wasn't normal, it was a hurricane-like storm, and I heard all classroom doors in the building, and in the building nearby, being slammed by the furious wind. I got a little scared, I must admit, because this morning I'd dreamed about the end of the world. Class finished, I got out of the classroom and there were broken branches everywhere.

I'll talk about my dream. I wrote about it in my other diary, but I'll post it here, too. Because I can.

I tried to draw the crumbling moon. Joseph liked the idea of the moon being destroyed to declare war, and he understood what silence meant in my dream. I told him my dream, and he said that's called nightmare and not dream. I insist it's a dream, only with an ugly ending (the ending is usually completely unrelated to what the dream is about). This year I've had at least four dreams that finish with death. A giant jumps on me and crushes me; a stairway collapses and falls on me; a woman jumps from an airplane on fire and crashes in front of me, and the last thing is her screams in my ears and the chunks of bloody flesh in the hands covering my eyes.

so here's my dream. Yay, or something.

It was his birthday, and the saddest day of my life, too. He celebrated with his friends and I walked around dragging an imaginary ball and chain.

The celebration lasted the whole afternoon. When night arrived, I looked up the sky and saw red fireworks. I wondered if they were expressly for him. And I called his name. He came out, and I told him "look". I didn't say happy birthday.

He called out his friends. His friends came out and looked up, too. More friends were arriving, and they stopped in their tracks to become witnesses, saying what a nice coincide fireworks-on-your-birthday is.

The fireworks vanished, and we were able to see the big, red full moon. It was moving, it was slowly rotating. And then it happened. The moon exploded, from the inside out. It cracked in dozens of pieces, like small continents, and then it crumbled. The pieces fell off into space, perhaps they would forever, or at least until matter disintegrated itself.

I heard screaming all around me, and I remained quiet. After all, it was the saddest day of my life. I thought it was one powerful country declaring war to another, in the most arrogant way humanity could've never imagined.

And then, the screaming stopped, all voices at once. And with the silence came the realization, the fear and the resignation: those weren't fireworks; humans didn't destroy the moon; the closest thing to the moon is the earth.

Silence. I looked down and I saw my sneakers. The ground started to crumble under my feet. I closed my eyes and that was it.

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