Tuesday, 08/03/04 - 11:00 pm.
Since Freud is dead, I thought about getting a new fish. But I realized I don't want another fish. I bought Freud because I hated seeing all those beta fish in plastic cups. I quickly got attached to him, but I wouldn't get another one because no matter how many I buy, there'll always be miserable fish in plastic cups.
I'd actually like to have another fluffy pet, like a dog, or a cat. But one, I have Frog already, and I know she'd hate it if I brought some "competition" in the house...what if I stop paying attention to her, because I am dedicating myself to nurse another being? Two, I am aware of how delicate it is to have a pet. I'd like to own many, many animals, I'd take care and love them all. But animals absorb money and time. I have time, usually, but money...it's up to my parents' wallet, and I'd hate that. They like animals, "just not at home", because you know, you get too attached to them, and then they die (and also because of the mess they create sometimes...like when Frog throws up, or sleeps in the couch). Oh, ok.
So I guess for now I'll stick to a dog and a giant parrot. I thought of buying an iguana, to set it free in my backyard. But seriously, how many animals can I buy-to-set-free, to make a difference in a planet where commercializing animals is as common as stupid people? I'd like to buy one of those puppies that are mercilessly sold in the streets...but I'd be supporting the people who separate the 3 week-old puppies from their mothers. And I could buy one, or two, or ten, and I could never really solve the problem.
I asked Joseph to steal one for me, but he said the man (any man) who sells them would shoot him. That's just their way of living. I hate the human race.
Ok, aside from thinking a lot about animals today (Joseph and I talked a lot about it, too), I've only babysat my youngest nephew. I told him how wrong it was what he and my niece made to my other nephew (basically, pushing him aside).
I think he really felt bad about it, he was about to cry. That might sound very cruel from me, making a little kid cry, but I was just telling him the truth, calmly (not scolding, or anything): you made Renan cry, when you and Rebeca ignored him and left him out of your game. If he cried about it it's because he was sorry. He said he'd apologize. But for the record, after the small talk (I wanted to say a whole lot more, but I also didn't want to go overboard...he is just a kid, after all) I asked him if he wanted to play, and so we happily played together for hours and hours (we also watched Jumanji, it's a cool movie...who invented the game, anyway?).
I feel creative. No...it's more like something that young Werther said: "I feel like the best painter, and yet I'm not capable of painting a thing". That's not the exact quote, I believe, but that's the best description of my current state of mind.
I am starting to exercise. I do very little (it's been just seven minutes these last two days), but I'll try to improve. It's not because I'm worried about my weight or anything. I don't really see myself as fat (I know sometimes I say I do, but I say it when I go through those "phases"). I look myself in the mirror and I think of a phrase I liked (I read it in "Elle" *cough*), something about "unique proportions". I don't want huge mountains of muscles, nor an hourglass figure. I just don't want flaccid muscles and a round stomach. I want to get myself used to exercise, because it certainly improves my mood and my resistance. So there.
I am watching a movie right now (as I type) about a girl who got sexually involved with her professor. She turned him in and now everybody at her school calls her slut, and attacks her house and leaves dead rats in her car (DUMBASSES, THEY ALWAYS GET ANIMALS INVOLVED, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?). She doesn't deserve all that. Actually, I'm not going anywhere with this paragraph. I'd like to, but if I start analyzing and developing ideas, I'll miss the movie. Oh, it's a real-life story...I love those, but I hate them, as well (you know, because you confirm how disgusting the human race is and all).
Say, Joseph is coming over tomorrow. I, as usual, am getting mortally nervous about that. But I am very, very in love with him, duh.
prev / next