Thursday, 09/30/04 - 9:05 pm.
Well, I went to see how much I'd have to pay...er, my dad would have to pay to get my book published. I consider it a lot, but he says we can afford it.
Being there, talking about my book, depressed me. I wasn't very confident in that office, with that lady telling me all the technical stuff. All that's clear is that it'll by out by mid-november, because right now they're busy preparing a certain massive test for seniors.
I was in the campus, because the printing house belongs to the university. So after the long talk my parents left and I headed to the cafeteria, to meet up with Joseph (oh, if they knew).
I was in a terrible mood, knowing this book could be a failure. The people who've supported me on this are Angel, my dad and Vic. And I have the feeling they'll be the only ones. Perhaps Cel, too.
Joseph doesn't support me. He's not negative, just apathetic. I told him where I was coming from, and I told him how much it'd cost and I explained some technical stuff. Well, good luck was all he said. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to do it in front of him, because I knew he'd feel bad, and I'd have to tell him, and maybe he'd be more supportive, but just because he felt it was a duty so that I wouldn't cry anymore. I swallowed hard, and accepted the fact. I can't really count on him for this.
That was a serious blow for me, knowing he wouldn't tell me anything other than "good luck", and for a while I thought I was going to get all moody, like I got yesterday. But I wasn't going to let that emotive episode happen again. He walked me to a building, where I signed up for the III guitar workshop. Guitar workshop = yayness.
Then we went to see his friends, Adam and Tiny. There was another huge guy, whom we'll call E. He was playing Resident Evil. They're all very sweet to me, very kind. They make you feel welcomed.
By then I'd pretty much forgotten about the book, and I realized how much I love Joseph. He waited with me for class, and we talked about teeth and our accidents when we were clumsy children.
To my sorrow, though, he helped me discover that my wisdom tooth is coming out. I am getting more and more scared by the hour. I'd been in little pain these days, but I didn't really pay attention to that. I think it's called denial. Joseph confirmed that, yes, it's coming out. But I think I'd have figured that out by myself, anyway, because along with the toothache I am getting a headache.
My class finished earlier, so I was going to study until my dad picked me up at 8. I thought Joseph had gone home by then. But he didn't. And so we cuddled and talked and laughed for about 20 minutes, until I had to go. It was wonderful, he makes me very happy. He is wonderful. Even though he doesn't really support me on the book thing (the bastard) he never fails to make me feel funny all over (the cute fucker).
And now, I must go and work on my book cover, and then go study for tomorrow's midterm. The last lone, finally.
Oh, and today's my dad's birthday. Yay for my dad, I love him.