Wednesday, 11/03/04 - 10:03 pm.
I'm not really surprised by the results of the elections, and I'm sure everybody would appreciate it if I kept all those thoughts to myself.
I had a bad feeling about today, because I was getting the monthly cramps. I was scared the pain would strike me at the most inaproppiate moment...which would have been any time of the day, because I had a busy schedule at the university, beggining at 9 am.
I had a meeting for my book at that time, to check if it was ready to get published (next week, I hope). It's ok, I guess. I don't think it'll be such a big deal, but as long as I get rid of the 1,000 copies, I'll be ok.
Afterwards I had my guitar lesson. For some reason, I wanted Joe to see I was in pain, feeling miserable. About 15 minutes before the class, I sat outside the guitar room to study for a while. He tapped me on my shoulder. Hello, reader, he said, acting like a kid (the cute motherfucker). He called me reader because he always sees me reading. But he was waiting for a classmate (who didn't show up) so he didn't pay attention to me.
That hurt me, and made me realize "he doesn't like me", and that made me feel relieved. It sounds dumb, but it's the truth. Hey, I study psychology, and I know it's possible to feel two contradictory feelings (hurt and relieved) at once. Get off of me.
We learned the intro to blackbird. It isn't as hard as I thought it'd be. I was enjoying myself. And you know what rocked? Having him tap on my shoulder made my cramps disappear. Honestly. Hey, I study psychology, and I know of psychosomatic reactions. And so far, I haven't had cramps.
I gave him the CD I burned for him (the Joe Perry Project), and he thanked me effusively. I bet he's just pretending, my bitch side (aroused by the period) whispered. You won't tell me who's the artist?, he asked. I said it was written on the CD (I gave it to him in an envelope, because it had no case)...I wrote the song list on a post-it, and even drew Joe Perry on a corner.
I met up with Joseph afterwards. He said I looked sad. My egg is collapsing, I replied. Oh, your period. I was being cynical and I looked like I was about to cry, but I wasn't feeling particularly crappy.
We went for lunch at the coffeehouse, and we were very affectionate. More than we have been lately, anyway. I know I love him (Joe not paying attention to me helped, too). Pppfff, of course I love Joseph. I was afraid I'd stopped loving him, but it was just a bad phase.
Actually, two days ago he'd asked me if I thought our relationship had gone downhill. I replied that I did think so, "but I hope it's just a phase...you know, like psychology of development says, sometimes the marriage gets all troublesome, and the relationship describes the shape of the letter U: right now -I think- we're at the bottom, but I believe we can rise again".
So we had a lovely time together. We hadn't treated each other like that in a while. After lunch we rested under a tree, I fell asleep for a couple of minutes with my head on his shoulder and my arm across his stomach. You know, if there's a reason why I'd love to have sex is to fall asleep afterwards. He made a gesture and nodded.
He left when Victor arrived, because we were supposed to have a meeting in the woods. Irene came later, and we worked on some assignment. For about two hours. At some point Victor went to have breakfast (yes) and Irene went to look for her sister (who's a professor in the university), so I was left alone. Right then Joseph showed up again. I got a haircut. For you. I know you pay attention to those things. Jesus. He looks very handsome.
Irene, Victor and I sat outside a building at 4:25, because we had an appointment with a professor at 4:30. We talked about being instructors (for out social service). Irene and Victoria are already signed up to be instructors next semester, so maybe Victor and I can also find a subject we like. It'd be great, the four os would take over the instructors' cubicles. The problem is the subject I wanted to be instructor for, Writing Techniques, is already taken (there are two classrooms: one for Irene, one for Victoria *sigh*). FUCK, I say. But this isn't time to go deeper on this.
Victoria arrived, so the four of us had our meeting with the professor. We were in there for 30 minutes. Then I went to attend what was left of class (20 minutes) while those three went to get a test. When class finished, I met up with them again.
And it was laughter and laughter until 7:50 pm, when our last class finished. We were together, the four of us, for four hours or so. It was great. We hadn't been together like that since...a long time ago. We were just hanging out, joking and talking and laughing. We hadn't done that in a while. I missed that, I missed them.
I'm leaving out the fact that we freaked out a lot, because we have manymanymany things to do within two weeks, and we haven't done a thing.
Oh, oh. I strangely found Joseph, running around campus, before my 6:30 class (supposedly, he'd left the university at 3). I got in his way, and he gave me a funny polaroid of him, that some company of cigarretes had taken. It's him posing like a superhero, with his arm around a funny friend of him. Aw, I love him *heart*
You know what sucks, though? Victoria was talking about how lonely she and Irene are, and I said she should join the choir, there you can hook up with people, I said, joking. Geez, Joe, Victor said (he knows him...they're both musicians, duh), making some kind of inside joke for the both of us, since Victoria doesn't know him. I smiled and nodded, and continued with the conversation, but inside I was...jealous. I was upset by that thought. I was pissed off. And so, I realized I still like Joe.
Hey, hey, I got my ticket today. Ticketwhatticket? Well, I'd like to announce that I'll be leaving for Houston on december 15th.