It's out, but 1/50 of it is defective.
Thursday, 11/18/04 - 10:02 pm.

The mall is perhaps the loneliest place in human history, especially on christmas. I see all the holiday decoration, and the people who're there but not to purchase anything. It's sad.

I was there looking for christmas cards, and a gift for Irene's sister, who's getting married in december. I went to see the toys, and there was one mini neighborhood that blew me away, and I almost started crying right there because I was too old to play with dolls.

It wasn't a complete loss. I bought a mini Ninja Turtle. I love it, and I haven't opened the case, because I am quite a geek.

When I came home, the delivery guys from the printing house arrived. I was finally going to see my book. They brough six packages, each containing a hundred copies (the other four would be delivered tomorrow). The man asked if we'd like to check a few, to see if everything was ok. My dad opened a package, and maybe he was happier than I was. Actually, I was a little apathetic.

This is funny, I said, the index doesn't have numbers. Oh, HUGE mistake from the guys at the printing house. So my dad called and explained everything, and the man in charge kindly said he'd be more than glad to fix it. So we sent them back, and I won't have them until next week. Lord.

I did keep a few copies, and I brought one to the university to show it to my friends. Irene, Victor and Joseph saw them. Victor took it home to read it tonight, even though he'll buy me a copy (I hope). I saw Veronica, too, so I showed it to her. She said she'd buy a copy, as well.

Mphm. Promises, promises. I can already picture myself having at least eight out of the ten packages collecting dust for quite a few years. But that isn't so bad. What's important is that now I can say I published a book at 19, and I'm happy with it...although I am sick of reading those stories (I read them endlessly to check for mistakes), so I might not read them again for a while.

Joseph came to the university today, even though he's still sick. He gave me a stuffed pterodactyl (yes, I spelled it correctly), and I gave him a drawing which he discovered I did it because I was bored. I was a little distant from him today, I hate to admit I'd been enjoying my days of single-ness...and maybe spending time with Joe, however little, has had an effect, too. But I'd like to think it was the former. It'd better be.

Today a classmate asked me to lend her two dollars. It was strange, because I've never really talked to her. She seemed desperate and embarrased, and I didn't hesitate, although at the back of my head I was thinking I'll probably never see those two dollars again. She insisted she'd pay me back on monday, though. I figured she really needed the money, so I thought what the hell.

Victor and I took a guitar from the guitar room and we sat on the grass to play for a while. It was great. He's talented, and he's constantly encouraging me. He says I've improved a lot, and I only have to make it sound louder.

I only have three guitar lessons left, which saddens me endlessly. I won't see Joe anymore, for at least four months. Which is ok, I a wicked way. I won't fall into temptation. Even more so, if we ever got together, he'd be the one to break up. It's safe to say that he's the boy I've ever felt most insecure about.

Argh. But I do have a mini Ninja Turtle. It's a Leonardo, you know? So ha.

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