Tuesday, 02/19/02 - 6:19 pm.
I love him. He's oh-so-sweet, and I'm oh-so-lame for still talking about him, despite what I said before. Excuse my weakness. I did figure that my love for him is not killing me, so...there. It's not like I'm losing saliva over him.
I'm having a hard time with my hand. It's red-purple and it's swollen. I can't scratch it, dammit!!!! It's fuckin' killing me!!!! It hurts, and I think that if I scratch it, it'll blow up like a balloon and all my face and clothes will be sprinkled with blood, pieces of flesh and nerves.....shit, shit, shit.
Ok, so I was saying...my guy. I shouldn't say that, I shouldn't mention him anymore, but I suddenly feel like talking about him, are we cool? I saw him today, hugging one of his friends...I've seen them quite a few times doing so, so I figure that's normal between them (that's normal with everybody). But still, I felt jealous. Then, when class was dismissed, I stayed longer in the halls, waiting for Art and Cel...I waited for an unusual time, and suddenly the halls were clear, eveyrbody had left. And I saw him walking alone. My stupidity *almost* makes me give one step ahead...shyah, that'd have helped me with him....c'mon.
I stayed with Art to help him with English. We just studied, sort of talked shallow subjects...it was nice. He's a cool kid. We had a couple of laughs. Everything ok. Then I came home and Veronica was waiting for me. You'll see, they both don't get along, because...well, they've had their differences. They were about to be boy-and-girl last year but...yo, shit happens. I suppose they both hate each other to death now. I've heard both sides of their story, it's quite ambivalent and it sort of confuses me. It's all messy. That's the problem of knowing the truth, both sides of a coin. Anyway....I am me....shyeah, killer conclusion, dude.
While Veronica was here, the guy called me. I told him she was with me, studying. He said that I'd better keep studying, give his best to Veronica (did I mention that he was after her in 9th grade?), and that he'd call some other day. I asked him how was today's exam (English, the subject that made him repeat Junior High....though it wouldn't have happened if he'd let me help him...I hate you, little guy), he said it was cool, and I told him to study very well for tomorrow. Really, sometimes we sound like a couple. My question after that is....so what?. Because after all, it's all fake.
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, I can't scratch my hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really have nothing else to say...no, wait....FUCK YOU, PATHETIC BITCH!!!!!!!!!!! That's to Rebeca, the stupid girl who's trying to get everybody to hate my (and somehow Phillip's) work for the mascot design. Now, it really wouldn't piss me off if they chose any other desing but mine....BY SELF CONVICTION, not because a travesty skeleton (she looks like that) tells them to do so. She's just pissy because she's so damn useless to this prom, let alone to the society. After she was speaking so sweet about her cousin (Phillip) and his beautiful drawings, she wants everybody to go for Liz's stupid vulture, because I did the other design and Phil helped me. Now he officially sucks, for her and her stupid gang. Rod is part of her gang, and I heard him say today: I'll say I'm voting for choice C -Liz's- in front of him to piss him off. Just great. Go ahead, you fuckin' human failure. As if it wasn't bad enough for us to receive hurtful criticism, of people who tell you yours suck but don't do their own, now it's all become personal. FUCK YOU, POSSESED BITCH.
Shit, I'm hungry...and my hand....oh, shit...I can't stand it anymore.
Yo, today is Rick Dufay's 50th birthday...Happy birthday, Doof!!! (Geez, you know who he is by now, don't you? The-replacement-of-Brad-during-theRockInAHardPlace-era. Sucks to be me, I wasn't born by that time, so I missed those shows. I know it wasn't the same without Brad and Joe, but for what I know, those shows were just awesome).
Yes, now I'm done. Time to study philosophy...Ethics, ethics and its biological background, blah, blah, blah...kind of interesting, though. Hector is an excellent teacher. And also...study social studies. Wait...we're studying Third World Countries shit...HA! I don't need to study, then......Ok, ok, ok, I'm not a know-it-all, it's just that, um...I've been there. Hell, I'm still "there". Anyway, I know enough of the subject to make the stuffin' up in the middle of the exam. You'll see, my mechanism of studying Social Studies is simple: read twice, get the idea. When it's time to fill in the blanks, give the idea an outrageous redaction and stuff it up with complex words. My average grade throughout the years? 9.0...and people think I'm a nerd...give me a fuckin' break.
I hate saying that someone is a nerd...that makes me sound like a loser. I hate it when they say I'm a nerd...it shows how easy people fall into labeling others.
Sincerely,