Tuesday, 04/30/02 - 10:16 pm.
I'm sitting here, drinking happinness. My mom discovered a new brand of milk (new to us, anyway) and it's great. It has no taste, but I'm loving it. So does my mom, now she doesn't have to prepare the powder milk.
Steven Tyler was on Jay Leno's 10th anniversary show. Of course, I had my tape ready to roll. When I saw Leno lifting up a huge chapstick...I was hesitant but...who else could it belong to? Before I could release the rec button, I heard *that* voice...that unique voice. It was very cute. Steven leaped into his arms and gave him a kiss.
Besides...STEVEN PLAYED WITH G'N'R LAST NIGHT!!! And today's Top 10 Aerosmith position....#8 Dude (looks like a lady), plus priceless footage from the 70's, including the Dream On video and an interview. *tears of joy*
Ooook...I'll add someone else to the club of the Brokenhearted Individuals. Introducing Cory, who's terribly in love with a girl named Karen (long ago, I talked a lot about this kiddo). This morning we (the seniors) went to mass (at 7:45 a.m.) and when it finished, I stayed with him. He grabbed my arm and held it, as if we both were going to a picnic. We were together for about 20 minutes. He's a very depressive teenager and hates himself...add to that his infatuation and you've got one miserable person. I try to help him but it's very, very hard to convince him...he just can't be realistic-positive. We talked about his problems. Then he told me he was very worried about her, because he saw her crying. Seeing cry the one you love knowing that you can't help him/her because (s)he runs away from you it's just so sad. I promised him I'd find out why she was crying. It turned out she had argued with her best friend. I couldn't get further information. But at least I helped him a little. Poor kid. He's willing to give everything for that little person he loves. Just like many of us, who own a broken heart.
*turning her head to the TV, with the Jay Leno thing still on* Ugh. Cher sucks. Isn't Steven going to appear again, Simeon? *Simeon hopes and sits on the couch*
Tomorrow I'm calling him. Tomorrow it's his birthday. He called me this afternoon.
- How are you?
- Was it your dad who picked up the phone?
- Yeah.....Hey, tomorrow's your birthday! and you're turning...?
- Seventeen.....What are you doin'?
- Reading some stuff.
- Where are you?
- in my bedroom.
- Me, too.
- *6 seconds of silence*
- Well, just checking on you. Have a nice day.
- Thanks, you too. I'll call you tomorrow.
Until I find someone else to make me feel the same way (despite the lack of quality of interaction), I'm gonna be stuck with that guy. I love him. I know that if we were together it'd never work out, but I love him. I can't still get over the fact that he's not with the Seniors. I love him. It's hard, it hurts, but I love him.
I feel today it's friday. Tomorrow I get to sleep in, thank God for such an ironic celebration. I have lots of homework to turn in this friday. But staying in bed until I want to is enough of a vacation for me.
I had sex on friday and saturday Vic reminded me today (he'd told me yesterday). Sometimes I'd think that he and her girlfriend (who by the way loves Steven Tyler, too) are together just for the sex. But yesterday...you should've seen the looks in his eyes when he went: You know...I love that girl. I love her. I emphazise. Because he did.
I had so many things to say. I just forgot. I always come up with a lot of shit when I'm riding the school bus, looking out the window. Cars pass us by and I imagine that their breaks don't work and they'll crash against us. Cars pass us by and for their speed, you could think that they obviously have better plans for their day than us. I said that to myself today. Feeling with no reason to go to school, staring at that white car that could've hit us in its rush...maybe the driver had something important to do. Blah, the only important thing that bastard has to do is to speed up and pass everybody, Simeon replied, almost whispering.
His objective it's the purpose itself.
I'd like to ask him (Simeon, that is) if that's supposed to make sense. I can't do it right now, because he just fell asleep on the couch.
I think he was pissed off at something. His moods are very similar to mine (having in mind we would have shared the same womb), but sometimes one feels what the other doesn't.
I know I've been pushing him aside lately. These past years, I've had less and less time to work on his stuff. But I know he's not pissed off at me, he understands my situation of overloads. We've never been mad at each other (it's just sometimes we need to insult each other to make the message go through clearly). Fortunately, Nayda has found the magic of the Simeonistic books. She fuckin' read Hamlet (our version) in one afternoon. I appreciate it when people appreciate my work. She couldn't believe I'd rewritten the whole play. But hey, we did. Simeon is one clever individual, and the only way he could get any better is if he existed.
You know what else has been rocking my ass off lately? Coca Cola on the rocks. The weather is fuckin' hell and I need to refresh my throat (didn't that sound commercial?). So when I get home I get myself a cup with Coke and add four cubes of ice...well, it depends....if I'm to add the cubes first, it's five. If I'm to add the liquid first, then it's four cubes. Top it off with rockin' tunes like What Kind Of Love Are You On?, Angel's Eye and the Spiderman theme (soundtrack is out today!).
Life rocks my ass off.
So tomorrow I get to stay home alone. In that nice, warm, comfy, private, little world of my own.
That someday in a near future I'll get kicked out of. But hey, at least I admit it. I don't live in denial, clap for me.
You know why this little world of mine is so cool? Because I don't need a purpose. Because it's all about carpe diem.