Grace and a few Wills.
Tuesday, 05/28/02 - 10:11 pm.

My BKB team won again this afternoon *two claps*.

I spent about one hour with Vic...I mean, Vicky in the afternoon after lunch.

You'll see, he took me everywhere he'd find any of the boys he acts gay with. Some sort of gay parade. Fuck, not even that. Gay people are normal. This gang is just out of control, even grabbing asses and packages, in public. I know, they're sick. It's ridiculous and hilarious. To hear them say comments like I don't want you with him!!!, remember what you said last night, for you it's for free it's priceless. I practically witnessed an orgy. It's always fun to watch during a recess about 5-8 boys get together and start talking about sex like prostitutes.

Well, let me clarify: almost every boy from the Class of 2002 (including the guy) acts that way every now and then. So I run into verbal twists and physical innuendos among male teenagers pretty often.

I told Vic that I've always wanted to have a gay friend and he went: why, why do you need another?. Sometimes, his homosexuality turns itself on. Just like the rest of his friends'. And they all pretend to turn each other on, too.

Vic took me to the library, where Ricardo was doing his homework. I spent about 5 minutes paying attention to that dialogue between them both. I love you, Ricardo moaned...and Vic mouthed No, and touched Ricardo's thight. Sometimes they crossed the line. It was usually Ricardo. And when that happened, Vic only turned his head to me laughing, like saying I hope you're enjoying the show.

The guy gave Norman a condom this morning. Norm needed ballons for an experiment and just so happened he was carrying one (condom). Oh, he's not the only one. Pablo was carrying an entire box. Only he'd ran out of them already. Oh, joy.

Tomorrow it's the Musical Performance Contest, and Vic will be participating with his girlfriend. They'll play Wind Of Change. I believe the guy's participating, too. He always does. Man, I hate that. I hate to see him on stage, singing and playing guitar. It makes me love him and want him even more.

This afternoon the greatest thing was to see Vic and the guy interact as a jealous gay couple. I saw them together...and I remembered Vic once asked me who the boy I have "hot phone conversations" with is. Do I know him?, he asked. I didn't answer. I found it funny, he was about to exchange blowjobs (so to speak) with the same boy.

*senseless sigh* The guy's a doll.

I've moved on. I'm not listening to Lay It Down anymore. Have you ever listened to Stop Messin' Around? Endorphines, endorphines...


It reminds me of Houston.

You're rockin' me baby
'til my face turns cherry red
you rocked me so hard
that I fell right outta bed

It's weird. Those boys that play with themselves, touch each other and act like whores, smoke, have sex often, drink, waste their money in playing pool...are the ones who I feel comfortable with. Are the ones that make me feel I count. And valorate what I do. And despite their (huge) flaws, they're the best people around. Heck, no. I by no means get involved in their activities. Yet they think I'm one of the coolest people in the whole damn world. Thanks, yo.

They're full of young lust. Slutty boys. At least they distract me from my isolation and misery.

The voices in my head are having a pow-wow. I can't type anymore.

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