Friday, 10/05/01 - 3:26 p.m..
Oh, God...I'm gonna throw up...
Nope, I'm not pregnant...but I wouldn't mind if the baby was my guy's......yes, the guy's mine. Um, yeah, I'll explain: he just called me. He called me...to say hi. Just to say hi!!! No sex talking!!! Just to say "hi". I'm in awe. Specially because I was planning on doing that today myself. I wish I could have told him but maybe he could have thought that I just made that up...I wonder what's up with him.
Yeah, seriously, he's not mine. But I still love him. Why I'm gonna throw up?...because I'm fuckin' excited. His "hi, just wanted to say hi to you" gets me more excited than his "hi, I wanna fuck you". I guess that's love. I love him, not only because of his body.
Ok, What's up? I did fine with my exams. Even in math...thank God!!! I passed all of the subjects this month. The guy didn't. He failed math. I offered myself to help him to study. He said he wanted something else. But I said that'd only happen if he does well with his grades.
Now, these two days have been damn happy. Not because of a special reason...has it happened to you that sometimes what makes your day is the day itself? Well, these days are so...fuck, happy. Blue sky, incredible white and thin clouds...and everybody looking so happy. I enjoyed so much watching people. They all were really happy, playing and stuff. I was happy, too. Something really weird it's that now it's raining. We all thought winter was over. Specially after these sunny days. But, hey, my guy called just to say "hi"...whatever else happens won't impress me that much.
Today, after maybe a week of not being with Carmen, we got together...she started crying because she might get kicked out of school...because of math. I didn't try to cheer her up. What could I have done or say to change her grades? I just kept listening to her, holding her and trying to make her feel that I was there, in case there's something I can do for her. She needed to cry. Never stop someone from crying if they really want to. Don't even try.
Man, I love men. I was wearing a headband today and I think it brought me luck. I woke up and went to school thinking that I'd get a 10 in english. Nope, but I'm pretty sure I'll have more than 8. I kept ignoring the guy the whole day. I had a lot of oportunities to say hi but just let 'em passed by.
In the 2nd recess, I talked to Denver (he's such a nice guy...waaaaaaaay hormonal...and of course, Denver is just his nickname). He came up to me and said "a woman by herself is very vulnerable"...I said the same to him, but with man instead of woman, of course. Wow, I had never seen such lust in his eyes like I did today.
Anyway, I'll talk about another man I ran into. He's a great guy and just lately we've been saying hi to each other. I felt someone looking at me, turned my head and there he was, looking at my headband and I guess he liked it a lot because we waved at each other and he had this huge smile in his face. He's the kind of person you want him to like you.
Another man...yes, there's another one. I met him when I was taking english classes and had a crush on him. He's...if you excuse the teeny-bopper expression, a hottie. I left those classes and lost contact. I was on the school bus today and I saw him...he saw me. We made eye contact. I smiled but didn't wave. He had a very expressive face when he saw me. It cracked me up.
Another man? Yes. A guy who goes home in the same school bus as me, saw me today with Norman. When we were getting on the bus, he asked me if I had a boyfriend...I said no. He said "you'd better, I was getting very jealous". He's sweet, althought he's a 6th grader. It was tender...aaaawwww.
Ok, no more men.
We bought a new printer. And I get the feeling my PC is getting all screwed up, which means it'll go "reset", which means I'll lose a lot of aerostuff...which happens to be rare stuff that can't hardly be found anymore. The keyboard is fucked up, too. The stupid spacebar doesn't space anymore if you press in the middle. It has to be on the left. Dammit. Even the damned new printer isn't working.
Fuck, I feel something really teeny-bopper in this entry, so I'll go now. It must be love. Why does everybody want to fall in love, dammit?...well, yes....it does feel so fuckin' good (even if the guy doesn't love me back. He called me to say "hi"). I feel so fuckin' good, but not only because of my love for the guy. It's just that this day made my day.