At least I'm seeing two wonderful movies.
Saturday, 02/26/05 - 6:41 pm.

I'm finally going to see Finding Neverland, tonight.

I'm finally going to see Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, tomorrow.

I need to find something to do with Joseph on his birthday. I'm still seriously upset about yesterday. "Raised to be dependent" has been the line of the day, and its inmediate consequence (not being allowed to go to my boyfriend's house) makes me feel like crap. I called him this morning, to explain him the whole thing, but he was at work and a client walked in as I started to speak. I'm really disappointed and somewhat depressed. Pathetic, aren't I?

I got an e-mail from Carmen last night. Those stupid surveys, "what are you wearing?", "have you cried lately?". That question got to me the most. She wrote not really (that's very strange). It upset me, for a reason I can't really put into words. It pissed me off. In my head I went I don't care if you cry, I DON'T CARE IF YOU CRY!!!

I guess it reminded me of my awful years at school, awfulness that began in 8th grade. I always had the feeling that at least part of her (and her friends) drama was simply unnecesary. And they sucked me in, but never quite allowing me to know what was going on. I saw all her gang (I was some unwanted attachment) have fights and all, but I was never filled in, let alone needed to help. And that kind of hurt, because on the other hand, I'd receive daily notes "you're one of my best friends!, you know you can trust me for everything".

I have this jig-saw-like burden, that awakes ocassionaly. Last night's e-mail did it. But it also showed me that Carmen is happy with her girlfriend, so congratulations to the happy couple. Now leave me alone, as you always have. Thank you.

I haven't talked to Joe in two nights. I don't miss him as I thought I would. That's a good thing, although the emotional part of me says it isn't.

Say, I found Mia Tyler (Steven Tyler's daughter) on myspace.com. I like it how celebrities are just normal people. She seems so friendly, and is very accesible (years ago I found her e-mail, cassually shown in a website of hers). I love her attitude. Plus-sized models are underrated.

I'm not in a good mood, and my spine is killing me again. Thanks, bye.

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