Monday, 04/18/05 - 10:07 pm.
My period graciously arrived this morning, and it got so bad that lunch didn't stay in my stomach. I ended up dragging my dirty pants to wash them after cleaning up the mess in the bathroom. I was shaking and sobbing and I just wanted to curl up in bed. I could barely stay awake on my way to the university, I felt like I had an overdose. Dad didn't notice. Mom was asleep. I felt very lonely and sick.
A friend of Joseph's gave me a CD today, can you give it to him, please?. I truly believe he wasn't aware that we've broken up. The only thing I could think of was to go look for his best friend. I met up with him and I asked him to hand him the CD. He asked me how I was doing, and went on to try to cheer me up...even though I didn't really need it.
All people I talk to about the break-up don't seem to mind that I have feelings for Joseph. "Don't worry about it", "one day you'll look back and realize it was silly to get like this", "there's a reason why we call him Madman, you know?". So, um...he isn't worth it, right? At all? I wouldn't know. People seem to overlook the fact that I am in love with him, and that this relationship wasn't just a casual get-together. I'm getting over him, I am, and I don't feel as shitty as I did last week. But it seems like people don't want me to have this process of mourning. I mean, isn't that normal after a loss? Don't give me your damn "HEY, FEEL BETTER! I MEAN, RIGHT NOW!".
All right, well. I'd love to go on, but I have a take-home midterm that's due on monday, and there's a lot of writing involved, so I'll go work on it. Bye.
prev / next