"Toad".
Monday, 04/25/05 - 10:49 pm.

As usual, I was supposing too much. Nobody made any comment on my blood relation to the Experimental Psychology professor. That's a relief, though. Oh, and the midterm was easy. Sort of. I was really, really nervous before it, but I got out feeling pretty confident.

The rooster got killed this afternoon, when I was at the university. Last night, I had a conversation with Joe about roosters, because he has one. I was asking him questions, how you grabbed them and if they get stung by mosquitoes. Because I wanted to grab him and take him away from the mosquitoes.

Now his corpse is in the fridge. How macabre.

Also, I helped Joe with a document he couldn't open and needed to write a paper on. I said send it to me, maybe I could open it. It was an adobe file, and all I did was "print screen" and send him the document in bmp's. Yeah, I'm nice sometimes. And it was nicer that he appreciated it. Instead of going offline to work on it (at 12:30 am), he stayed online, because -he said- me being online kept him entertained. That made me feel good. But I still felt pretty bad about the rooster. He was cute. He made me cry.

I saw Joseph today. I was studying in the little forest, and he was walking up the stairs, on his way out of the campus. I was squatting on the edge of a ditch, and we looked at each other. I waved, and he yelled "toad" (because of my position). He never stopped walking. I'd been thinking too much before that unexpected encounter, on the verge of crying, but seeing him for a split second made me, strangely, forget all that, and put me in a better mood.

Later that afternoon, Fer was telling me I was being fatalist. EXCUSE ME? I thought the way I'm feeling is a natural reaction to a break-up. He keeps saying life is grand, and delicious, and see, I do not deny that. My life is quite alright, aside from the fact that I am in love with Joseph and he isn't in love with me. I don't think I'm being a fatalist. The break-up is still fresh, and some people can't get over someone they've loved for eleven months (and thought would last much more than that) in just two weeks.

I'm going to say this again: I can't assimilate the fact that he doesn't love me anymore.

My nephew in Houston turns 13 today. Oh, my.

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