Thursday, 05/05/05 - 10:39 pm.
Alright, let me explain the heartfelt last entry. Fer told me that Joseph has been dating his mistress since last week. I honestly didn't expect that, so I got sick and angry and tearful. I almost threw up. I was shaking, and feeling as horrible as I never had.
But...Fer helped me through. He told me a very awful story, how he was cheated on by a girl he helped recover from anorexia. It made me angry, how it's so easy for people to cheat on you. Fer took it lightly, and said he was entertained by the whole thing now. It happened a long time ago.
We went on to talk about Joseph. And the knot in my stomach transformed into pity for him. Jesus, we were analyzing his behaviors, and it's scary how pathological some of them are. He's a compulsive liar (about big adventures), and projects on you all the bad things he is. Remember the things he used to tell me? That I never changed, that I was close-minded, that I was stuck on a routine...
And guess what? He never changes. As for being close-minded, everybody is stupid for him. EVERYBODY. And as for a routine, his whole life consists of going to the university to hang out, going out to drink and play magic, and going home. Yeah, now that's a life. He wants to make it sound like his life is so hard and complicated and exciting, when in reality he's a spoiled 25 year-old who lives with his loving parents and has the routine I just mentioned.
I suppose one day when I have nothing to talk about, I'll go deeper on this. But it just so happens that I had some sort of good day today, so I'll focus on that.
The motorcycle diaries blew me away. There was a screening in the campus today at 1:30, so Irene, Victor and I attended. We paid $0.50 each. I was there since noon, though. I went to Burger King and bought some dry lunch (Whopper Jr. and fries), and went to sit on a table.
This morning when I was swimming, I remembered a picture I once saw on a Livejournal. It was a picture of a writing on a table, something about a girl having herpes, beware! she will attack! So, in the spirit of my cruel wish, and having in mind that I wasn't coming up with anything else, I wrote Joseph "madman" has herpes, beware! he will attack!. Then I left the crime scene, on my way to see the movie with my friends.
The movie, needless to say, is incredible. Or rather, the fact that it happened to someone. I'm gonna have to read more about Ernesto Guevara....I know a little about him, of course, but after today, I realize it's not enough. He was overloaded with humanity.
Irene, Victor and I were talking about doing a trip like that, but just across the country. See, we're such losers.
Afterwards, we went to the guitar room. Victor and I were going to keep Irene company, while she was in instructor-duty. The guitar room has been revamped, and it looks great. Samuel was there, playing the piano in JC's cubicle. Then Joe showed up, and JC said ah, the almight ones have gathered. Because Victor, Samuel and Joe are amazing guitar players, perhaps the best in campus. I was there just, uh...transforming oxygen, witnessing the gathering.
No, actually, I seem to be more than that. I asked JC if he could lend me a guitar for a while, and he gave me one, "just because it's you". I suppose he's used to have me around, always failing at playing guitar, but also always trying. That's the spirit, I guess.
Well, let me rewind to the part where Joe showed up. I didn't really pay attention to him, other than exchanging a few words, but...yeah, I kind of like him. Maybe that's why I barely looked at him. He doesn't like me, though. That's ok. However, I hated that he went offline last night to go see his show on TV, when I needed someone to talk to (luckily, there was Fer).
My classes sucked today. They were endless, and my friends skipped them on and off. Victor skipped Literature, the three of us attended Social (Priscilla doesn't come on thursday, she goes to church...no, really), and Irene skipped Industrial. I was feeling rather lonely.
That's tearing me apart, aside from feeling hurt, rejected and betrayed. The emptiness, the not having anything to look forward to. Looking around, hoping. Nothing.
You know what? Joseph was not my Yoko. He's a fucking Sexy Sadie.
But nevermind. Joe just offered to help me cut class someday.
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