Friday, 05/20/05 - 10:23 pm.
Ok. After two days of expectations, there was no hurricane. Don't ask what the hell happened, I don't know. Some say the government overreacted, some say it only developed and moved on. All I know is that I woke up this morning, in my brother's room (well, nobody's room) and aside from cloudy skies and low temperatures, life was the same.
Perhaps first I should tell about the phone call I got at 9 last night. It was Joseph. Whoa. Joseph called me twice yesterday. But the last one wasn't a long conversation, because his mom wanted to use the phone. We learned that when she picked up the other line and started to dial. Joseph started to tell her, mother, I'm on the phone, but she was coughing, so she wasn't listening. It was insanely funny.
If you must know, and I must tell, he called me again at noon today. I was having lunch, but I didn't tell him, because I wasn't going to blow off the oportunity to talk to him. He even talked about us having kids. THREE kids (that came up while talking about The Simpsons).
- Him: even freaky people ask me about you.
- Me: like who?
- Him: this guy, CH, said something...it's the only time he's made ma laugh: "shame you guys broke up...I thought you were getting married, and so I'd have seen the triumph of irony".
- Me: that's clever. Although I always considered him a little strange.
- Him: he's not strange, he's just stupid.
He was trying to say a word, and I said "you mean neanderthal?". He replied, no, no, that's me. He's right when he says he's my personal clown.
You know, Joe just came online. And I still get the feeling he has a thing for me. I hope he doesn't. I think I still do have a thing for him, but I...I want Joseph. Joe is so nice and funny, really clever at times. Almost like a child. If I ended up with him, it'd be kind of like the beggining of the Paul and Linda story. A pretty fantasy.
But maybe it's my animal side, searching for a biologically apt father to my spawns. So I stay with Joseph. Actually, it's because I'd never felt that connected to anyone, in a way that I want to include him in every second of my day.
I even started to write a story last night, I intended for it to be a memoir of the hurricane. The first chapter was about him. All about him. And I'd never loved anyone enough to write like that. So directly. Calling him by his name, accepting all my feelings. Of course then I threw the papers away, because there was no hurricane to write about (however, the state of madness will be counted in for a future story, or maybe a psychological theory).
Bottom line is that I love him madly, like I've never loved anyone ever before, and I wish I could wake up next to him every day.