Saturday, 05/28/05 - 7:59 pm.
This morning, when I was leaving the swimming pool, this man approached and said to my mom that I was a fast swimmer. He also thought my mom was my grandmother, which happens very often. The man was there with his son, "6th year of medicine". I'd seen him, he was handsome. The "fast swimmer" comment made me happy. I actually feel like I've improved. AND, I am seeing results in my body, especially around the waist. I'd never been in this situation, "hey, look, I'm fit!". Yay.
According to the plan, dad drove me to the university at around 9:30 am. My excuse was that I had a meeting to study for my brother's midterm on monday. The truth was, as I already told, that Joseph was taking his aptitude test, and I wanted to see him afterwards, because maybe he'd like company. He was supposed to call me when he was finished.
I arrived and sat on a table among trees. 10, 10:30 and 10:50, and no phone call. I had three theories: he fell asleep and didn't attend, he didn't got my message to his cell phone ("call me when you're done, I'll be there") or the test was just too long. However, all that time was very useful, because I covered the whole material for my midterm.
Two girls sat on the other side of the table. "Excuse me", one of them said. It's not my table, but I like it when people are polite and say something before they take a sit. I pretended to study, but I heard the stories: first, one of these girls worked at an office, and this twice-divorced man was courting her and was awfully possessive (saying things like "why do you talk to nobodies on the street, what's that about?", when she'd greet male friends). The other girl was saying that she'd broken up with her boyfriend, but their relationship based on control continued so they inevitably got back together...that made me think about Joseph, it sounded a lot like us, except we're not hysterical and possessive and control freaks.
I sneezed, and one girl said "bless you". I, duh, said thank you. They were nice, and I was having a blast listening to their conversation, while [kind of] reading about confidentiality in psychology. I was so glad Joseph wasn't like the men they were talking about.
Finally, at about 11, Joseph called me. I found him smoking a cigarette, outside a classroom. He had to get back in and handed me the cigarette, but I thought it'd take him long inside, so I threw it away. He actually went in just to get his stuff. Why did you throw it away? he was a good cigarette! he said, being all cartoon-esque. At first I felt a little bad, aw, I didn't know you'd come back so soon. But then I thought, what the hell, I wasn't going to be holding a cigarette, and it's bad for your health. Deal with it.
All we did was walk around campus. We went to the library, so he could buy a phone card and I'd buy a mini CD for my nephew (he wants the song "I'm too sexy for my shirt", what the fuck?!). We were going to go for coffee, but it'd have been too rushed, since I had to leave at around 12. And you know, when you go for coffee, you need at least 45 minutes.
Instead, we sat on a bench, watching people by. I saw Joe, who greeted me with a big smile. A few days later I remembered the night he stayed with me while my dad picked me up, at the risk of him missing his bus. He's such a good kid, handsome in a strange way. I hope he finds a good girl. Last time we talked he said he was feeling a little lonely. He's somewhat of a loner. I rarely see him with people. Pf, ok, I rarely see him.
Joseph asked me to give him a kiss on the cheek, and I honestly wasn't expecting that he'd turn around to kiss me on the lips. I know he loves me and all, I just didn't think he would. I thought we'd spend our time together talking about our bizarre marriage and he'd lean in on and off to kiss me on the cheek or neck, like he always does since we broke up. But yeah, we ended up making out in a very public space in campus. Eventually we talked about having children, since we'd seen a lot today.
He was very hyper and acting like a clown. I told him so, and it was the only time today that I saw him getting very serious, almost somber: I'm worried about the results. But you won't see me worried. And he went on clown mode again. Wow, talk about denial. Ok, not really denial. But something like that. He'll get the results in a month.
Suddenly he turned around and asked "will you marry me?". I said, yeah, alright. But then I had to leave, so we kissed a lot. Promise me one thing...we'll make love before the month ends. A few steps later I caught up, the month ends in two days. He was half-joking, though. I do appreciate that he refers to having sexual intercourse with me as "making love" and never "having sex".
In the afternoon, I went to see my cousin's baby, who was born a week ago. I was impressed, he's so tiny. I didn't even dare to carry him. His fingers were clinging onto my nail. I loved my cousin's house, too. I started to think if Joseph and I will ever have a family and live in a pretty house. It sounds exciting (let's not mind how hard it is). It's so exciting, to see my young relatives creating a home, and it's strange that I want the same for myself.
Afterwards, my parents, my aunt, my other cousin (brother of the cousin dad) and I went for a snack. We...well, they talked a lot about family. Like my dad's grandmother, who had 25 children. But not all of them survived, of course. My aunt and her sons are really funny.
Then we came home, at about 6:30. I turned on the computer, and the mouse wasn't working. My dad panicked. Ok, I did too, a little. He ran to the mall with my mom, while I stayed home trying to figure out all the key combinations. I fucked up Internet Explorer, but I got to open a program to start typing my entry.
When they came back with a new mouse, I installed it, and it wasn't working either. "Oh, it's the software", I realized. I pressed the almighty F1 for the Nth time, but this time before the list of users showed up. I did something with the configuration, and it worked. I was sorry for the purchase, $20 spent for nothing. Oh, well, my dad said, always seeing the bright side when it comes to money. Now we have a spare one, just in case. Uh, ok.
Now I need to focus on my studying. My three friends (Victor, Irene and Priscilla), and another friend named Michelle, are coming tomorrow to study. I didn't want to do that, there's no need to reunite. It's all mostly a matter of memory, unlike Social Psychology, that's a matter of analizing (which is why my brother hates teaching Experimental, and wishes he'd have taught Social instead).