Monday, 05/30/05 - 9:35 pm.
I got a dumb 8.5 on my Latinamerican Literature midterm. I did a stupid thing for which I lost 0.2...it upsets me, I'm so dumb.
Today I took my brother's midterm, and I hope I'll do better than the last time. I got an 8.8, you may not recall, and I completely forgot about mentioning an example. This time around, I wrote "for example" wherever it was required. It was easy, I believe, but I'm not trusting my confidence again (if that makes sense).
I miss Joseph, and I seriously need to have a conversation with him, about his life and how he is going nowhere. Seriously. I was talking about that with Victor...sure, not everybody needs formal education to succeed in life, but those are exceptions to the rule. And besides, not only Joseph is not studying, he's not doing anything else to make up for the lack of an academical training for life. He's 25 years old, and the last gig I heard he got, last saturday, was beating a guy, in exchange of a hard drive for a computer he's putting together. Some life, huh?
There's this classmate of mine in Experimental Psychology, she's mature, like in her late 40s. She's very nice and has a crush on my brother (the EP professor). She asked me today about "my guy". She said she loved seeing us together, because we look so "rock & roll". She was a hippy herself, she said, the bell bottoms and the like. Beyond the fact that she loved Joseph and me as a couple, I enjoyed hearing about her life. She's very open, and so young at heart. She makes me blush, says I have an angel face (not you, Angel), and says my brother is handsome from every angle you see, including the intellectual side. Her honesty is cute.
Bottom line, though: she said I was very commited to studying, whereas Joseph, although she didn't know him, didn't seem much interested. I never wanted to tell you because that'd been have abusive of me. I appreciated the comment, actually, and I told her she was right.
She's right, and what's going to happen, as Victor asked, when he has bigger responsabilities? He says he wants children. So, is he going to stay home and raise them while I go to work? I don't think so. First, I wouldn't make enough income; second, I don't like his ideas about being a stay-home dad and raising kids; and third, I'd like to see for how long he'd be fulfilled with that life of babysitting.
And all that comes because we've actually talked about having children, although my uterus is not thrilled with the idea. But mostly from my observations about his life. I had a hint when we were dating, I confirmed it when we broke up (mostly out of spite), and now that we're sort of back together, I have to say it: the guy has no direction in life. So he probably is willing to live with that: living in your parents' house with your basic needs covered, and being out of the house for at least 90% of the 24 hours, hanging out with friends and getting in trouble.
I called him, but he wasn't home. His dad answered, he makes me nervous. But this conversation has to be had before the week ends.
In the meantime, I have a shitload of work to do on several subjects. So have your daily dose of calcium, and thank you for your time.
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