Friday, 08/19/05 - 8:20 pm.
Today another semester began in the lovely and sometimes stupid university I go to. I also got a $90 paycheck from the library (some students read my book last semester) and I had to go into the library to keep reading newspapers.
But, oh, wait. In the morning, I went to the mall, and took advantage of the situation to go visit Joseph. He was going to come to the mall with me, but I know him, and I know it'd have taken us a long time to get out of his bedroom, because first off, I'd find him asleep. So I went on my own, bought two birthday cards (for my friends Roberto and Angie) and bought him a muffin.
I'm sorry to say I wasn't comfortable in his bedroom this time around. He'd just woken up anyway, and that's not really a pretty sight. I was turned off the whole time and got out of there as soon as I could. I was actually in a bad mood, I've been in a not so happy mood lately, because I feel tired and overwhelmed and stressed, partly because of the responsabilities of the university (the things to come) and the child abuse project, and partly because I have to juggle between my parents and Joseph. I felt so guilty today, for lying to my dad.
Speaking of my dad, I gave him 60% of my check. He wouldn't take it, and in the end he said he would if it made me happy. It did. I've always seen my siblings contributing, and I wanted to do it, too. He never asks for anything in return. I said he could use it however he pleased, and he said you know I always invest the money well, and he does. Yeah, ok, I complain a lot about him, but he's a wonderful dad, for the most part.
Back on subject. Joseph got upset when I told him I couldn't introduce him (again) to my parents because he didn't have a job and/or wasn't studying. He said he'd love to study, his parents believe he's studying psychology, but he's proven to be not good at it. So, he can't get a real, full-time job because then his parents would find out he isn't studying, and that would be crushing. That's a tough one, and I must admit I hadn't realized that before.
I met up with him in the afternoon, in campus, after I'd read newspapers and turned my check into cash. That's something else...he owes about $650, he used his mother's credit card to buy things from a site of cards (that game, Magic). I was planning on giving him $40 to help him out, and I offered it to him. One thing I learned from Men's Health is that when you're in a situation when you say "(I hope) they learned their lesson", you can be sure they didn't. Joseph won't learn his lesson, and will continue to use his mother's credit card. And he doesn't even have a job. So lending him money would be a little, a little, like validating what he does, but I also don't want to leave him alone. I said I'm not going to marry him if he continues doing that, spending all that money on junk. His friend C, one of his best friends, told him right in his face that he was fucking stupid for getting carried away like that. Yeah, it's true.
Ok, well, so I met up with him and he said he was upset for what I'd said in the morning. And you also didn't give me any solutions, meaning not only should I complain but also give possible solutions. Oh, right. I understand he's hurt over what I said, but I'm not the one who's leading his life after all.
The university was ok. After the check and the newspapers I was a little lost, though. I was feeling like a stranger in campus, and out of place. But then I found Irene, and we caught up. Then we found Victor. Then we found Joseph, and I stayed with him until it was time for class at 5:30.
The class is Social Psychology II, the one that my brother was supposed to be in charge of, but gave up at the last minute because he's "producing" (writing scientific articles, etc). So mr. Mexican Guy, whom shall be known as Mr. Basket from now on, continues being our Social professor. I'm also going to be his instructor for Psychodinamics, which I took with him a year ago, I only need to give him a few information. That's exciting. I like him, he's funny...a little lost and confused/confusing sometimes, but he's a nice guy.
The other class of the day was cancelled, so I got to come home earlier with my brother. Only I'm starting to panic because I already have in the horizon a few hard and long (stop thinking that!) assignments for Social.
I feel exhausted already, but on sunday my friends and I will get together for a back-to-school pig-out, because from now on, every time we meet up, will be to work (and freak out about it). Also, I'll try to see Joseph that day for a while. Oh, and I'll buy a fucking iPod mini with my next paycheck from the child abuse project. It's my brother who gives me therapy about pampering oneself once in a while.
You know, this semester lasts three months, plus two weeks for finals. What a rip off.
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