Wednesday, 09/07/05 - 9:30 pm.
No more evaluations at the ESJ for the rest of the week. On friday, there are no children scheduled. Tomorrow, I have to call in and say I can't make it, because I have a meeting at the university, about being an instructor. I get to have a key to the instructor's cubicle. And stuff.
I'm redesigning my schedule to be available for the students for longer, and I have something else to type something up tonight after that, AND I need to go to bed early so I can go swimming in the morning.
I'm incredibly overwhelmed with work, and I feel as tired as it was the end of the semester, but I'm nowhere to break down yet. I like what I'm doing.
This evening all of the students of Methods of Evaluation piled up in a room behind a one-way mirror, to see how our very boring professor interviewed a set of parents. But the parents didn't show up. In the meantime, the place was packed, and I had a regression to school in my mind: my friends were on the row behind, being loud and laughing with other people, and I just retreated and started to feel kind of depressed. Not exactly left out, because I could've gone and be part of the party, but...I just froze. I froze in large, loud groups.
I only have two things to say: it was sort of scary introducing myself to the class of Psychodinamics. I wasn't nervous, surprisingly, and Joseph was outside keeping me company until Mr. Basket (the Psychodinamics professor, as well as MY Social Psychology II professor) called me in. I didn't realize how apathetic we students look to the one who comes and stands in front of us.
And the second thing is that Joseph looked beautiful today. Beautiful in a very particular way...I mean, he sort of looks like Trent, from Daria, and that's in no way "beautiful" per se. But I thought he looked extremely handsome. It's probably because I'm in love with him, leave me alone.