Psychodynamics, Angie, rain, back to Houston, and anxiety (and a plus).
Saturday, 09/24/05 - 9:22 pm.

01- Mr. Basket left me in charge of the class while everybody took the midterm exam. He had something else to do, so he just showed up to read the questions with everybody. Then I was left for two hours and a half, watching all those 46 students turning nervously their pages, trying to match Freud's early theories with the current national reality.

My feet got sore for a while, but I didn't want to sit. I'm not sure why, I guess I felt imposing, standing behind the podium (heh). Here and there people would raise their hand so I'd go to their desk and clear a doubt. All in all, it wasn't bad, and I'd definitely rather spend two hours watching people taking a psychodynamics exam than taking it myself.

02- Angie's mother called me this afternoon, saying she had a package for me, from Angie. Angie moved out to the USA a couple of months ago, remember? She's living in Minessota, with her uncle and aunt for now, and she's got a job somewhere. Her mother told me she'd come by later in the afternoon, and that I could send something with her aunt, who'd be flying back to Minessota on tuesday. She apologized for not getting in touch sooner.

I only had time to write her a short letter, but I made sure it included important information and stuff to make her laugh. Her mom and sister came by, I'd never met the mom, actually. She's pretty nice, and told me how Angie's doing. Everything's going well for her, except she gets lonely and sad sometimes...she has no one over there, except for her aunt and uncle. And you know how she is, all extroverted and talktative. She gave me the package, I gave her the letter, we chatted about how soon the rest of Angie's family will join her. And she said goodbye to me, saying her daughter loved me very much.

The package contained a box of strawberry tea, a bookmark and a picture of her eyes, as if she's looking at the sunset through shades (as it seems by the light). She mentions in a little note the birthday card I sent her. You never know how much you can touch someone's life with just a card, a tangible one, I mean...I bought it, my friends and I signed it, and I mailed it. It probably meant a lot more than an electronic one, because I've heard how happy she was when she got it.

So today I realized I missed her.

03- It's been raining a lot. I like this weather, but I despise its consequences. We have little Katrinas every fucking rainy day.

04- My brother and his family in Houston got back to their house. Nothing big happened, there's no damage other than broken branches. Thank God, I say. Hopefully Blackie's friend didn't have to face those hurricane problems either.

05- Tomorrow I'm going to Irene's house in the morning. Supposedly, I'll be there until the afternoon, but I'll be there until noon and then I'll head over to Joseph's. Irene and Michelle have kindly given me "permission" to use their name as an excuse anytime I need to. Funnily enough, Irene asked me that today (if she could borrow my name), who knows where she was going. But duh, obviously she can. That made me feel good, for some reason.

Anyway, there'll be no sex. One, if my period hasn't arrived by tomorrow, that'll mean I AM [a day] LATE. Two, if it does, it's bad enough without it. By current body signals, though, I think I'm leaning toward number two, for which I thank the Lord, and preservatives.

I really don't like this anxiety of feeling pregnant every time we do it (we've done it twice, and the right way, just once), and actually, I'm trying to stay away from sex. I really, really need to tell Joseph this. The problem (for him, anyway) is that I'm not a big fan of sex. I can go on an entire day in his bedroom without it, but he can't. We could switch activities when I sneak out to see him, but that would mean going in public, and actually, I like the privacy we have when I go to his house. I'd never had it with anyone, and as "alone" and "isolated" we are in the university, we're still in a public place.

See, I can't win.

I also get really, really anxious over the weekend: will I come up with a good excuse, will I be able to pull off my plan, will my parents find out, will I get knocked up or infected after giving in? Infected, it's highly unlikely, but the rest, uncertain.

So this is an anxious me going to bed early, asking you to wish me luck tomorrow.

PD: I saw TWO TOUCANS in campus this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was surreal. They were beautiful, and I had no idea those existed here anymore.

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