Sunday, 09/25/05 - 8:26 pm.
Things turned out ok. In the morning I went to Irene's house, where we met with Michelle and Priscilla, to "work". We didn't. First, because we spent almost our three hours talking about everything that goes on the career of psychology, with occasional mentions of someone's life, mostly Priscilla's, because she's found a guy. It was great, we're a happy bunch.
Second, and this isn't such a happy reason: Victor was supposed to join us because he had the missing parts of the research we were supposed to finish today, but he didn't show up. He didn't send them to me either. He's so uninterested in everything, never helps anymore, and makes no effort to be part of our meetings and much less to send his part on time. He's brilliant, really, but his indifference pisses me off.
In the afternoon, with the sacrifice of skipping a meal, I went to Joseph's. As I'd planned, sex was not had. It was mostly cuddling and talking, except when he told me it hurt him the fact that I seemed to give into sex mostly as an obligation than because I really wanted to. I almost cried, because that's simply true...I think I have some quasiphobia to sex. I just remained silent, and he even fell asleep for a while. When he woke up, we were in a better mood. He got me going, actually, and maybe if he'd had a condom, I would've gone for it. But he did something else, with his fingers, and this time I nearly enjoyed it all. It'd be wonderful, if I could get over this whole sex thing. I give Joseph credit for all the patience he has with me.
There's a rough day ahead tomorrow, that involves a two-hour meeting in the morning, and a goddamned trip to that town 45 minutes by car, for the child abuse project (we're going to interview children). I have to admit I'm scared, I'm scared of the road, because of landslides and thieves, and I'm scared of the town, because it's forsaken and young men are just standing about, with nothing to do.
It could've been a good day, if it hadn't been for Victor's indifference that ruined our schedule, and the perspective of tomorrow's trip. He'll be coming tomorrow, of course, as we're both collaborators in the project. But it's always the same damn story with him, and, forgive me for saying this, however brilliant he is (and he is), I'm getting sick of him.
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