Tuesday, 04/02/06 - 9:37 pm.
Joseph wants a break...I mean, he wants ME to take a break from the relationship, not really breaking up. I'm glad he's aware that I'm the only one putting an effort on us so we can see each other at least once a week, though.
He proposes that, since I'm busy, and he's busy, we stop seeing each other for the rest of the semester, and then on vacation we can be together the whole time. I think it's stupid. I'm guessing his brilliant idea comes from the fact that I told him he gets too dramatic and childish when I tell him I can't see him the day after, plus his low esteem that has him believing I should spend my time on more productive things than being with him.
I love the guy. And yes, it takes a lot of effort for me to see him. For example, I'll go to his house tomorrow (he insisted I shouldn't; I said it was ok if he didn't open the door). I could very well spend my time studying for a quiz I'll take that evening, but I actually want to see him. I need to see him.
He has a good argument: he used to be the one to always look for me (now it's the opposite), but I had infinite freedom, all my time was free, whereas when I see him, it's because I'm taking a break from any work I'm doing at the moment.
In a nutshell (it was about 2 hours of talking), he feels like a burden in my life. He isn't, really, and I'm sorry I can't dedicate much time to him anymore. Same with him, he has a job now, as well. He doesn't doubt I love him, and I don't doubt he's crazy about me...which is, in theory, why he's asking me for this distance.
But all the arguing last night, meh, I'll let it slide. I'll work my ass off tonight, and I'll go visit him tomorrow morning.
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