Bitter and no sweet.
Saturday, 07/29/06 - 2:35 pm.

I'm rather upset at the moment. Even more upset than yesterday afternoon, when I went to see PotC and about 17 teenage girls were spread all over the movie theater, shouting at each other and listening to music on their cellphones. Just being silly, if you'd like to put it how they'd put it. I had a sudden rage for my own kind, and wanted to turn around and break their nose and punch them until I cracked their skull.

Anyway, that's not the point.

My dad is a pain in the ass. I feel one day I'll explode and yell at him. All he does is complain about what should be done, but I've never seen his hands put to work on what he complains about. He's rude to my mom, he's rude to Rose, the housekeeper...I stand up for myself, but once in a while he gets away with it. I'm so disappointed in him sometimes. He's a good man, but mostly he's a bitch I'm sick of dealing with, and even sicker of having my mom enduring it. He complains because she should've said this or that on a phone call she just made, by his request. What do you say in my mom's position? THEN DO IT YOURSELF! Then he gets mad and pathetic. Mhm, too bad.

And is there something else who is upsetting me? Why, yes, my niece. She's thoughtless and self-centered. The world has to be put on hold because, oh, she had other plans. I hate how she acts like she's so superior, when she's only a 12-year old fucking brat with the whims of a 5 year-old. It's all about her and her friends, all the time. She doesn't have brains for anything else.

I'd let her. I'd leave her, I wouldn't be following her. If she said "she'll think about it", I'll take it as no, then stay home and we'll go out; you're not even necessary. She's sour and not so polite. If she isn't around the time she has left here, all the better for me. I just hope the grown-ups in charge can be consistent. She's growing up and all that shit, but "no" means "no", and we're sick of your childish tantrums.

I'll be taking a break this afternoon, by literally sneaking out to go to a party. I HOPE it's not a party per-se, but rather a get-together. Anyway, I'm a bit excited, because I've never gone out with him like that, to meet his friends and stuff. I had to distort the facts to tell my mom where I was going, and I'm sorry about that. But she and my dad are too conservative to deal with the awful truth. Which isn't that awful (there'll be no alcohol, no sex, and no drugs) but that's how they'd take it. I hate to keep this a secret, but so far silence has been the one thing that's worked out well.

It seems I just came today to spill some bitterness in this diary. In my defense, I needed it. Also, I needed to kill time and some anxious energies while it's time to pick up Joseph. I'm sad to know I could be spending all these emotions and free time to write, but I just don't feel like it. Perhaps I'd be less bitter if I could put it in other words, the same ideas with a mask, less directly but equally heartfelt.

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