Damn, five years!!!
Saturday, 09/02/06 - 11:20 pm.

I feel awful for not writing yesterday: it was my DLand five year-anniversary!!! I never thought it'd last this much. I can't sit and type how much I've changed since I got this diary, etc....but I'm glad it's all in here.

Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon with Joseph, from 2 to 8, because this semester, fridays are like saturdays to me (no classes!). A ride in my car to campus, frustrated plans for getting gourmet salad, back to his house, and then Bedroom Time: sex, My Name is Earl episodes, and dinner. And, um, a few rows...nothing heavy, we never yell, to begin with. But things got awkward for a while.

Today I was very bitter, remembering bits of our discussions. And during most of the day, I was very upset, in a pathetic mood. Not just because of Joseph, I was evaluating myself, thinking how much I suck, and what an ignorant I am. I also hate feeling helpless, but it seems that's what I am. I'd get kicks of high self-esteem sometimes, though, and I'd tell myself I could be better everyday. Ok, in a nutshell, I was a rollercoaster.

But anyway! I got over all that when Joseph called me in the afternoon. We were going to a dance show, my friend Norman's dancing company was performing. I was afraid Joseph would find it boring, but he said he wanted to come along. He enjoyed it very much. I did too, they're very good.

And afterwards, we went for dinner. I came home at past 9 (oh, wow). My dad didn't say anything. So that's a time he can tolerate, I've learned. In any case, I was happy for the evening Joseph and I spent. Lately I'd been fearing he was all about sex. But he proved me wrong today, and that's a relief.

I'll be short and sweet: I want to thank this diary for all the memories it's holding in for me. Here's to many more, I say (and yay, you say).

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