Monday, 02/19/07 - 9:56 am.
If things had gone as originally planned, I'd be back home since yesterday. Instead, I'm the guardian of my teenage nephew and niece, which isn't bad at all. They've been good children since their parents left, and I have no complaints. The three of us spent most hours of the weekend hanging out in the living room.
My nephew pretty much looks after himself, except when it comes to preparing a full meal and having a ride to and from school...although a friend drives him home once in a while. He wakes up on his own and follows his schedule, takes his medicine when he has to, and finishes his homework on time to have an hour or so to relax.
My niece hasn't been moody, quite the contrary, in fact; but I still have had to put up with some of her usual stuff. We went to bed past midnight on saturday (sunday), she'd had a concert with her band, and afterwards a post-show party at some people's house/pool. She came at 11:30 and said she wasn't tired, so I let her watch TV. I didn't go to bed because I wanted to make sure she didn't stay too late. Luckily, she fell asleep in front of the TV, sooner than I feared. But still too late for me, because I'd been wanting to go to bed since 9:30 pm. Considering that day I'd been running errands and driving around the kids.
Yesterday was worse because she started a homework she'd been assigned three or four weeks ago. It was a family tree, and she spent the whole afternoon looking at pictures of her family (from her two sets of grandparents to her). It wouldn't have taken her five hours if she'd gotten to the point and just pick the ones that she needed. No, she had to study every single picture, and watch all the videos. And I'm talking pictures since the year 2000; and to give you an idea, I have taken over 2,500 since I got my camera a couple of years ago. Add up pictures taken by other family members, all through the year, all those years.
And by the time she was ready to print out the pictures, at 9 pm, we discovered there was no color ink in the printer. A lot of work to edit them so she could send them to her own e-mail and print them at school...and she hadn't started the poster/collage/whatever, and she still had to write about members of her family, in french. Joy. We went to bed past 1:30 am. Notice: we. I thought of telling her a thing or two about not leaving things for the last minute, but I figured it'd be useless.
And, to top it all off, she was late for school this morning, and I had to drive her, because she missed the bus. I got really mad, she was late because she was doing her fucking hair. I thought of giving her the cold shoulder, driving slowly to make her late, or simply scolding her for being so selfish. I've given her all of my time, and in return, I just wanted her to take the bus. But she was straightening her bangs.
My madness decreased on the way there, though, and I really can't tell why. Perhaps I was just relieved that there was no traffic. She was chewing gum and looked very carefree, so I thought she'd been late on purpose: now that she knew I could drive to her school, she was going to take advantage of that. And it's not even that I was biting my tongue to say something to her, I just couldn't find the words to say anything, out of the many things this kid seriously needs to be told.
I was thinking of not replying to her if she said something like "thanks", but she said "thank you so much" very low, and I had to say "ok". She'd said the same thing last night, actually, while I was helping her with her project. I'm not sure to what extent she appreciates what I -or anyone else, for that matter- do for her...I know she cares, but I think not that much. Still, I can't be mean to her, even though I imagine it and wish it over and over in my head, especially when I get mad like this morning. She isn't mean to me, really. I wanted to be mean to her like she is to other people, but I couldn't.
My sister in law says my niece needs a good role model. I try to be, but I don't think she has her eyes open to the real world, to pick up anything. It's all about peers and letting herself be driven by her emotive impulsivity and shit.
I cried on the way home, because I felt really sorry for her. It had nothing to do with me, it had nothing to do with how disrespectful and hurtful she can be to her family. I simply felt sorry for her and started to cry about that.
Other than those episodes, heavier in my head than in real life, all's been well, we've survived so far. I'm still worried about the gas tank, but hopefully it'll make it until thursday. I decided not to go to the gym today, to save some gas...and speaking of which, a nice, muscle-ish african american who works there said goodbye to me on the parking lot, as I was leaving on thursday. I have no idea why he did it, as I've never even been in front of him, but I giggled in the car because he was really cute. Shoot me now.
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