A smaller, hotter place away from comfort.
Tuesday, Feb. 27, 2007 - 8:25 pm.

One step out of the aircraft, and a wave of heat hit me all over. That alone put me in a bad mood. There were a couple of compatriots behind me, clearly second generation of US inmigrants (they only spoke english), who said it was hot as hell.

Let's not mention the long lines and the nosy guy who opened my luggage, took out my box of jewelry (cheap stuff, bracelets / rings / earrings / necklaces, each worth no more than $5) and asked me personal questions about what I bought and how much money I spent..."oh, you didn't spend much, did you?". That's none of your bussiness, fucking clown.

I was happy to see my family: parents, brother #3 and wife, sister and little nephew. Frog is completely recovered and she looks wonderful; my cats remembered me. But aside from that, I'm very bitter. The heat is driving me nuts, I had a headache yesterday the whole day, and my house seems so small. THE news are all over the place, but I'm still in my little shell, trying to adjust to the world I'm actually ignoring.

My nephew and niece were left brokenhearted, and I cried a lot on the plane. I wrote them a letter (told them I was proud of them) and gave them chocolate, leaving some for my brother and sister in law...but my nephew ate the one for my brother -note to self: never give him directions about food when he just woke up-. I talked to the four of them on the phone last night, quoting That 70's Show and stuff. We always end up with tons of in-jokes. I just talked to my brother, too, and he asked me what I gave to my niece while I was there. I think she's going back to her bitchy self. Send her to the Jerry Springer bootcamp, that's what I say!

On the plane I was thinking about something I said in the last entry, that leaving felt like I was dying, because I'd stop being part of their lives. It also kind of felt like being born, because it's a violent change of enviroment. Someone (Freud, was it?) said that coming into this world is actually the most traumatic experience of all, because you leave a place of comfort to come to fight for survival. I guess that's exactly what I felt while landing.

So hear me whine, please, but I have no other choice than keep going. You wanna hear something funny and pathetic? I told Joseph my plane was coming tonight (that's about 20 hours later than the truth). It's terrible that I'm lying to him, but honestly, I wanted at least one day of tranquility at home to rot away. He's so needy and pushy sometimes, I know he'd have insisted on seeing me today.

I am seeing him tomorrow. Tomorrow it's his birthday. He turns 27, Jesus Christ! Don't get me started on that topic.

Also, tomorrow I begin the paperwork for this semester. Oh, joy, not. I also have to do Michelle's paperwork, because she's in Sweden. That makes me even more annoyed, because it means double trips to campus. Yuck. And let's not talk about working with Victor and Irene, I really don't want to. I'm thinking things could get ugly this time around, but I'll worry when that happens.

My dad is being a bastard. I love him and all, but I can't stand him sometimes. I'd never met someone who pities himself so much! He's always rude to my mom, and complains at everything. Tonight my mom was saying that Rose asked to stop working on weekends, because she needs time for her family. Hell, yes! I've always thought it's not necessary for her come on weekends, she basically just prepares lunch, and I can do that. She lives like an hour and a half away, too! What a drag, traveling all that distance in a crowded bus, every morning and afternoon. My dad got all dramatic, talking about finding someone else.

He backed off after a few things I said, but I don't know where he stands. The subject was changed, and I suppose he's waiting to be left alone with my mom to discuss, because he already realized I'm not passing this one up without a fight. In an ideal world, we shouldn't have to have a housekeeper...but since we do, I think she deserves more time for her own life. Plus, it's not easy finding another one, and my dad knows that. A bad choice and one day you find yourself robbed. Rose talks too much, but she does a great job, and she's also very fond of my pets and takes good care of them. And that's a must. A MUST, I tell you.

I'll go call Joseph in a couple of hours. I suppose tomorrow is a new beggining. I'm not thrilled, but I'd better change my attitude to get something good out of it.

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