Frankly, I have a long list of people I'd like to choke.
Tuesday, 10/23/07 - 9:38 pm.

I've sort of gotten over my feelings of being incompetent, but now I'm feelig used. Let's skip the details, but Victoria realized it...sometimes I hate that my face gives it all away.

There's something in psychotherapy called reflection (I'm not sure if that's the proper translation, though), in which you as a therapist capture the real feeling underneath what the person is telling you, and you give it back to them. If you got the feeling right, it's going to move something in the person. That kind of went on with Victoria. She asked "are you angry?" and that simple aknowledgement knocked me down and made me feel like crying. "Are you sad?", she asked inmediately afterwards. No, no, no, no, no, I'm fine.

I just discovered that being angry and sad is the same thing to me. I'm so good at having insights. But yes, yes, it's true. They're the same damn thing.

Anyway, I was saying I feel used. W said that I'm starting to realize that people use me, in ways I hadn't noticed, and that I'll begin to get pissed off about it. I'm so easy to take advantage of. I hate that about myself.

And, well, I'd like to stay and chat more, but duty calls.

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