Pupils, things coming to an end, two Josephs, etc.
Saturday, 12/01/07 - 9:44 pm.

It's december. I LOVE december, but it means the year is coming to an end, and ultimately, that time flies.

I've ended my time as an active student. I haven't written in a while here (9 days, but considering, it's a lot)...my last class was on tuesday. I kept going to the university everyday, though. I had my last Psychology of Learning labs with the kids. I got good comments on my performance as an instructor, really, really good comments. Ego-boosting comments. I'm happy about that.

W., my boss, is happy with my performance, too. But he's not happy with the results. These kids are not meeting his standards, and many are bound to fail the subject, and take it next year. And by the way, W. says he wants me to be an instructor again for that. Aside from being his instructor next semester (in march)...and probably in january. I will, in january, but I will not get paid in any way (he might get me the text book for free, though). I'm doing it for him, because I appreciate how much he trusts me, and because the head of the psych departament always gives him a hard time with the instructors he chooses.

Yesterday, of all days, Joe came into the cubicle, apparently just for the sake of it. I'm not going to lie, I LIKE, I strongly like that boy. I was a little shaky when he sat on my desk. We were talking about anything and everything. I can't describe that eye connection we make, but it's a chemistry I've rarely felt with anyone else. He remembered the first time he saw me laughing. He invited me to a show he was performing at that night. He grabbed my elbow and said I never went to see him perform, but he'll invite me everytime he does. He said something about us meeting again in 10 or 15 years.

I look out the window, and Joseph is waiting for me. Darn it. I started to pack my stuff, but I didn't know how to close with Joe. Someone else in the cubicle said someone was waiting for me. "Oh, they're waiting for you", Joe repeated. And he noticed Joseph. We parted ways. And then the guy Joseph was talking to turned to Joe and talked to him. And Joseph and I left.

He was jealous, of course. And I have to admit that for a good part of that night my mind was divided. I've probably said this already, but if I combined these two boys, I'd have THE boy of my dreams. I wanted to kiss Joe; I was thinking of him for a couple of minutes while I was having sex with Joseph. But I'd never leave Joseph for Joe, and I can't assure that I wouldn't have left Joe for Joseph. Joseph has that extra value, some kind of mystery and history that I doubt I'll ever find in anyone else.

Ok, back to my boyfriend. I've been seeing him for three nights in a row. He comes to campus, and we go to his house. We made a stop at the supermarket two nights ago, and last night, we walked to a doughnut place, with a friend of his. They spent the hour talking about Guatemala (Joseph ADORES it). We then went to his house, and we were too loud while his aunt was upstairs. We must've put on quite a show, but honestly, and Joseph agrees wholeheartedly, I've learned how to fuck and I truly enjoy it.

I have other things to say but I'm tired and I need to get back to studying. Only two weeks before I take off for Houston. Aside from finishing my apparently unfinishable assignments, I need to clean my room, send out cards, finish shopping, and bite my nails while I figure out how to make Joseph stay with me after I graduate.

prev / next