"We", as in "in my head".
Monday, 01/14/08 - 10:09 pm.

It's hard to believe it's been six days since I last updated. But I can say I've spent them changing my thesis subject, because we weren't allowed to work with depressive patients (in a way, I understand, but honestly, there's no room for research whatsoever). And also, I spent it having a crisis with Joseph.

Actually, Joseph didn't know "we" were having a crisis. It was all in my head. I was so mad because he kept doing nothing. Everytime I arrived to his house, he was in bed, watching a soap opera and playing MapleStory. I can't begin to write all the rows that played in my head, all the things I told -yelled at- him.

Yesterday, I went to his house, to work on my thesis. I went to his house just for kicks, because I could've done it in my house. Anyway, it was 2 pm and he was still asleep. I didn't wake him up and just worked on my laptop. When he woke up, he noticed I was upset, and commented on that a few times.

Finally, at some point I told him I felt we were stuck. "No", he replied, "I AM stuck". His so called depression, his lack of job, of money...he said this was a time of transition in both our lives. In a way, it was comforting because A) he realizes he's got a problem and B)...well, same thing. It doesn't solve anything, but it's half the battle, that he knows and accepts it. And also, I got the feeling we'll work it out. It'd better be soon, though, because his "I know" won't satisfy me for much longer if he doesn't do anything to change his situation.

I'm a bit overwhelmed with all that I have to do for my thesis. I need to rearrange a few of my ideas, add more elements, and that's a lot of work for just one week. My brother #3 says it's part of the natural process, giving and taking, turning things upside down...but still it's too much. Considering I'm also an instructor, a supervised therapist and a caring girlfriend. It seems time is not enough.

And yet...when I'm home alone, I fall in sweet oblivion. It's like being in Houston, in the sense that I'm alone for a considerable amount of time, in a comfortable bubble, no parents whatsoever, I make my meals, and I dedicate the time to tranquil activities, like reading and watching TV. Those are the days.

But I want to graduate this year, so I'll....I'll go to bed, so I can rest and work tomorrow. After I help Joseph paint his bedroom.

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