He said yes!!!
Wednesday, 02/06/08 - 10:40 pm.

Damn, how did I let 8 days go by without writing? I hate doing it, because then I don't remember what happened.

I do remember I was mad at Joseph. Suddenly this entire january (and before) of him not going out of the house and me doing all the efforts took a toll. One of those days I went to his house and stayed for two silent hours; he could tell I was deeply upset. I couldn't bring myself to tell him, and when I got home, I was kicking myself for that. It took a big effort, but next time I saw him, I told him. He listened, and when I was done, he said I was right, that he'd been an asshole and he'd taken me for granted and stopped caring about some things. I felt really understood. It was a huge weight off my back.

Although I was saying how dissapointed and pissed off I was, I was very clear that I wasn't going to break up with him, that I didn't intend to turn my back on him. He said he expected that, because everybody does it. I've known for quite a while (and I owe clinical psychology for this) that I'm therapeutic for him in the sense that I react to him like nobody else has, not past girlfriends, not even his parents. I support him unconditionally.

I know he's having a hard time getting out of his hole, he's explained why and yeah, it's legitimate (not that it justifies a lifetime of isolation and unemployment). But I trust in him. He's got a certain passion for life that makes me believe that he'll make it. Even more important, I feel that every time I see him, I fall in love with him again. He asks why am I still with him. He lacks a few things I'd like to have in a romantic-partner-for-life, but still, I think he's a damn good combination of MANY things I like.

Long, long story short, we worked things out and we're fine. Things may start to improve soon, as far as I can tell. AND he told me he will coming along when I go abroad to study!!!!!! It's still just a plan, but at least I got that fucking "yes". I've been brainwashing him for years, carefully leaving a margin of "I know it's a huge sacrifice and I'd undertstand if you decided to stay". His parents are hinting that it's time he leaves the house, so it'd be a good chance. And he tells me repeteadly that the single most stupid thing he could do in his life is let me go, so yeah.

Other relevant topic this week is my thesis. But there's not much new to say about it, so I'll go read this book that's really good.

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