My non-boyfriend with a november christmas present.
Tuesday, 11/18/08 - 10:35 pm.

I'm a little heartbroken at the moment. Joseph IM'ed me saying he'd come by tomorrow to give me my "present". What present? I, of course, asked. My christmas present. Huh?

Our conversation moved on. I told him a girl from my cubicle (an acquaintance of ours) had gotten engaged. He told me his brother was getting married this saturday. Strange. I asked what about the girl that was living with him, he replied it was a long story. But she was "ok", whatever that means.

Then, I asked him why he'd give me a present so soon? He only said, "fuck, I'll give it to you on the 23rd, then!" and he went offline. Or blocked me. Curioser and curioser. Yes, it hurt me. I'd planned on not talking to him for a while, to avoid awkwardness. He talked to me tonight and this is where we end up. Ugh.

Today I saw the girl who got engaged, and then another girl instructor I like very much, with her boyfriend. Not even in my loneliest day in high school I wished so bad like in those moments to have a boyfriend; I missed Joseph. Alas, I don't think I have a boyfriend anymore. Doesn't feel like it, and if he's so moody, then all the better for me that we're keeping our distance.

I keep myself busy. Today I got my USA visa so I'll travel in january-february to Houston. It was a pain in the ass...not just literally, because I was waiting on a seat for about four hours. The guy who gave me the visa laughed at me, but whatever. In the end he said I had been approved, so at least all that insane amount of money didn't get wasted.

Another thing that's keeping me distracted from Joseph is a massive toothache. I fear it might be a nerve, because it hurts so much and it comes and goes. It woke me up at midnight and it had me in tears. Then it went away, I fell asleep and it woke me up later. I have an appointment for thursday, but I fear it might have to do with my jaw structure. I mean, it's just

Frankly, I'll take the heartache over the toothache any day (I've worn braces so I've gone through my share of pain and I value my set of teeth). And I do believe that Joseph snapping at me was unnecesary. After all, who gives a christmas present in mid-november? I had all the right to ask.

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