I don't like the job but I need the money.
Sunday, 12/28/08 - 9:03 pm.

I've been told that I'll be getting a phone call in early january, about a job. A job I don't really want, because it's at high-risk schools, the keyword being "school". I don't like educational psychology.

I know I'd earn a lot of experience. But I need time for my scholarship and for my patients. The nice lady I talked to today about this job (a friend of my mom's) said I could see patients later on. I didn't like that, because I can't just suspend the process. Clinical with adults it's the thing I do like and I'm very committed 'til the end.

But the pay is good, man. I need the money. I need to start saving for traveling when I win the scholarship and for retirement (the retirement system sucks). I need to get out of this house. I was PISSED at my dad today because he was asking questions to the lady, like the job was for him...he was talking for me, asking the questions I was supposed to be asking, making all these comments about how dangerous it is and shit. I appreciate the concern, but it's too much. Way, way too much. He says it's my decision, and it is, but I can see him whining constantly about how dangerous everything is.

My sister already told me not to mind him. He'll get mad and he'll be all over me, but the most important thing is that I do what I feel comfortable with. Honestly? I'm not comfortable with that job. I just need money. Perhaps I'll find meaning while I'm doing it...I know it's a big help, even though I don't really change anything.

Ok, enough of this. I'll worry when it's time to worry.

On other news, I was very cheery this morning. I felt I had the world at my feet. As the afternoon made an entrance, I started to feel sad. I wanted to go out. I thought of asking Joseph out...I really wanted to, but in the end I asked myself, why bother? He might say no, he might say yes, but why bother? So I started looking into my cell phone...I did have names I'd like to call, but I actually didn't feel very confident in calling anyone. I wanted to go for coffee. I wanted to go with Joseph.

Lucky me, my sister called and invited my parents and I, plus the lady who gave me advice and her husband (who were visiting) for coffee in the town nearby. That's where the job talk happened, and then my sister, nephew and I went to a mall to hang out.

On even lighter news, I'm afraid I won't be able to reach the New Year with 3700 entries. My CPU is going under repairment tomorrow and I don't know when it will be ready. I'll try to set up my laptop with the modem, but it didn't work with my old laptop.

I have a busy day tomorrow, visiting a high school friend who just gave birth and meeting with the guy that paid me for translating adoption documents. It's my last pay, because the lawyer he works for gave up adoption cases.

Joseph hasn't been online. I believe his computer crashed. He told me it had crashed the day he kinda sorta kicked me out of his house, and then it came back to life.

I hope I'm wrong, but in case I don't see you before, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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