Wednesday, 01/07/09 - 12:01 pm.
Not too long after my last entry, I did throw up. That night, I was up for over three hours, until the break of dawn, and in the end I had massive stomach contractions, my body was out of control. Geez, how much effort do you need to return stuff? I know it's more natural to go down than up, but still. All my muscles, from my throat to my stomach, hurt at the moment. I still feel like crap, but at least I can walk today.
My parents got very concerned, but I know me. I get this case every once in a while. I eat something, half a day later I feel bad, I get fever, I throw up and I feel physically miserable for three days. Then the thing runs its course.
Frog used to stick around when I got like this. She'd loyally lay next to my bed, or sometimes in my bed, and sometimes she wouldn't eat until I did. I miss her, and overall, I miss having a dog. I'm thankful for my cats, though, especially the female one. She keeps me company often (she's next to me as I write this) and I find something strangely relaxing in having a cat around. I read somewhere that it had to do with alpha waves in the brain. No, really.
I was hoping to have a hectic week but this sickness stopped me. Before I wrote my last entry, W called apologizing, because we'd have to postpone my patients until next week, for he had had no time to read my sessions to supervise me. I wasn't very happy with it, but it turns out that I had a patient last night, and given I was agonizing in bed, it worked out for the best.
I'm worried about deadlines, for my scholarship and for a writing contest. I'm halfway through with both, but still have a long way to go and I have to overcome a few obstacles.
Though many women are attracted to bad boys, for a long-term relationship, nice guys win. Oh, damn you, Men's Health. In my defense, Joseph is a nice guy...deep, deep, deep, deep down.
I can't let him go. I promise I'll do my best when I clear everything up with him. I don't want to talk to him through MSN. And yet I don't dare to get myself an opportunity to talk to him face to face. I invited him to the movies, yes, but part of me is hoping he'll say no. I can't avoid this forever, though. I feel he doesn't love me anymore. But if I know him well, he still does. Whatever. Loving is not enough, is it? A relationship is not something that happens automatically after you fall in love with someone. I've always known that. Perhaps we forgot.
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