Thursday, 02/05/09 - 8:58 pm.
I started my real work today. I was ready for a long, boring day of induction stuff, but instead, I started on my position. I had a cup of coffee to survive the morning, but we were told from the begginig that us, the other three newly hired people and me, would be separated to begin our especific training.
I made a few mistakes, but considering it's my first day, I think I did ok. I was a little shaky on some things, and it was a slow, considerably long day. Not boring, really, I just didn't have much to do, aside from answering and making phone calls. I'm sure things will pick up. I like translating, by the way.
I didn't think much about Joseph, except for a couple of times. And it was only Joseph, not something he did or said or whatever. I thought of his girlfriend a couple of times, but because her name is in several places. But it finally happened what I hoped: that doing things would keep me from thinking of him.
However, working where I work, I have caught up on the vocabulary. And Joseph is, simply put, my phantom limb. Something that's not there anymore, and will never be again, but it's like he's still with me. My brain insists he's around, his feelings for me are still around, he still cares about me.
I had a Joseph-free day, but I'm guess the nights will be a little different, at least for a while. Right now I'm feeling sad and empty and longing and anxious, and I'm about to cry. He changes his nickname everyday, and it always revolves around his girlfriend. It's not that bad for me anymore. Next time it kills me will be when he announces the date he moves out of the country, his wedding date or his girlfriend's pregnancy.
No news on Fer. I suppose him wiggling his toes while being brain-dead is as much of a miracle as we'll get. I feel a little bad that my concerns about Joseph overshadow the ones about Fer, but that's how I feel.
And if something good is coming out of this, is that Angie is flying in on saturday night. I'm so happy, I can't wait. She said she'd come if he died, but I said she should come no matter what. I guess she had already thought about it because she replied quickly saying she would book a flight ASAP. It'll be nice to have a girl friend around, if anything for a little while, and even under such sad circumstances.