Wednesday, 01/01/09 - 11:59 pm.
This thing of looking back in your life and clearing things up is really strange. I've been looking at pictures from school, from the Class of '02 group on FB. I'm so fond of those memories, and yet I don't think I have many. I'd have less if it wasn't for this diary.
I was talking to Art about how I used to have a crush on almost everybody in his gang in high school. The conversation evolved until I came to realize I didn't meet him and his gang in high school; we had met years before, in retreats and field trips, efforts to make the morning kids (who attended school in the morning) and the afternoon kids (self-explanatory) come together, because by high school they'd be one big group with classes from 7 am to 3 or 4 pm.
I did have a crush on you, but Vic was first in line, he said tonight. So now it turns out that, in school, there was some people that liked me lining up, waiting for me to "make a move" and give a sign. Strange. CR says I'm intimidating. I'm starting to think it's true. Isn't the boy supposed to make the first move, thoughy? They never made any moves.
So...Art. I fell in love with him this past saturday night, if you must know. So strange, man, so strange. But I love him so much. It's not "like", much less a juvenile feeling of playful flirting. I like Al, for example. I liked Art when we were friends. This is different. This leaves me breathless all the time.
And while searching for high school pictures to upload, I discovered I have many of him, at least in comparison to other people. There's even one of the two of us alone. He's changed now, mostly because he doesn't take care of himself. I'm trying to make him be more conscious about his health, but what I can do from the distance is very little. But I digress. We got along a lot in high school, it seems. And he had a nice way of looking at me, now that I think about it.
Aside from that, this is really awesome...and hard. He textes me to wish me good night, calls me "princess" and such (which I believe is very usual among couples, but not for me; I had never been called princess before and so I get all giggly)...our relationship goes as far as words and webcams allow it to. Well, no, not even so; no live shows. Because, you know, they're supposed to be live, in the flesh. And that's when frustration kicks in, because we're countries apart. Last night he texted me saying he appreciated me and wished we weren't so far away. I was tempted to write "I love you, too", but I said something like we won't be apart forever...and added "pumpkin", to emphasize how serious I was.
I go to work smiling every morning, and I must look like a dork grinning to myself while walking down the street. We're not a long-distance item, at least not officially, but now I understand very well people who are. And yeah, I'm in love. No further comment.
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