Tuesday, 04/07/09 - 10:53 am.
Yesterday morning I went to a mall and bought a bathing suit, a shirt and some postcards. In the late afernoon I went to another mall to see Slumdog Millionaire (so, so good) and get money from the ATM (yay). I went alone, because I tried to contact, let's see...five people, to come along; some weren't available, some didn't reply. But it's ok, it's cool going alone, too. At least for me. I know of people who could never do that.
Yesterday afternoon I was going to meet up with my friend from school, Mo and her baby (and possibly her husband, also a friend from school), but we reescheduled for today. It seems I make plans as days go by, but not so many as I'd like. I have this morning free and I'm not even inspired to write Simeon strips or keep working on my book (which is just a bunch of senseless drafts). I tell myself, though, going out costs money and I need to save it for my trip to LA in august.
However, I was thinking...what if Art, or I, for that matter, are dating someone else by then? I mean, a lot of things can happen from now until august. I asked him last night about it, but he made an "aaaawww" face and asked why would I think such a thing. The conversation moved onto other topics, but seriously, what would I do? Cancel the trip, stay in a hotel? Because, yeah, so far he'll let me crash in his house. Don't say a word.
You see, I love Art, and one of the things I strongly wish at this moment of my life is for a chance to have a real relationship with him, instead of a virtual one. But that's impossible, he has a life there, I have a life here (at least until I get the chance to go study abroad). And that's exactly it. I'm afraid someone will walk into his or my life and we'll stop this whatever-thing-we're-having. Although I find it physically frustrating, it's emotionally rewarding and I don't want to give it up. I'd hate to give him up.
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