Saturday, 05/16/09 - 10:43 pm.
I had a great, fun day today. Surely it is to make up for the worst day I've had at work, EVER, yesterday. I worked almost 14 hours, starting at 7 am. I had a Board of Directors meeting at 5:30 pm and it ended at 8:40 pm. The day was full of orders, tasks, phone calls, people at the door, stuff to print, stuff to prepare for the meetings, checks to give out, petty cash, doing the english homework for my boss' adoptive sister, getting the meals for the BoD (they loved the food this time!) and on top of everything, a bunch of university guys are writing their thesis on human resources and I had to fill out looong questionnaires that reminded me of organizational psychology. I'd never been so close to cry and I even hung up violently on someone.
After the BoD meeting, I was going to meet up with a couple of friends for the birthday of one of them. Luckily, they cancelled the get-together. I wouldn't have made it. I also had to cancel my patient. I hate doing that.
But anyway, when everything was over, I was glad it was over and I didn't look back on the lame ass day I'd had. I was just happy to be home. I told myself this is what "under pressure" really means and there'll come more days like this one. I have to keep my cool.
So, today! I woke up beat up and sore, still tired from yesterday. I dedicated my morning to put my life in order, cleaning my room and stuff. I started to do some arrangements, because a bunch of kids and I are starting a collective blog. I tried to create some bracelets but inspiration never struck.
In the afternoon, I met up with CR, who had a black eye because he got in a fight last night. He isn't a fighter anymore; the thing is, a guy he was with denied a cigarrette to some gang members. This guy left and when CR and a girl left later, they were followed by the gang who apparently just wanted to pour out their frustration. CR just tried to avoid getting hit, but once they started to mess with the girl he fought back. The police arrived and aside from the black eye, that he got when he was pushed to the ground and a guy kicked him, and a few bruises, everything was ok. Nothing happened to the girl.
I do not worry about CR. I even thought it was cool, Fight Club sort of cool. He was telling me how people stared at him and then looked away nervously; nobody would ask what happened. I do not worry because I know it's not a big deal to him, because he's well experienced in the art of fighting and healing, and because to him, this was like having a cigarrette after not smoking for a month. CR and Joseph have a past of getting into heavy bar fights and they know how to take care of themselves. Surely it could've been much worse, but it wasn't.
Anyway, we went to a coffeehouse to meet with a girl friend of his. We chatted for a while, then she left. We chatted, the two of us, for a while and then Al arrived. I haven't seen him in the longest time. He said he liked my hair (it's curly at the moment) and I thought he was zombie-like, for he's been working a lot. I had to leave early, but we're going to a concert on friday. He said he was finishing his freelance gigs and we should hang out like we used to. Oh, it should be fun.
Then I went out for dinner with my family. Even if it sounds very simple what I've told, I've had such a great day. I don't recall having this much fun in a while. Work has been sucking my energy, I suppose, but going out is refreshing. This afternoon it was raining and I thought, what about I just stay home and sleep in? But no, I said to myself, I'd honestly rather go out and see the world, drive under the rain and talk to friends.
Tomorrow...tomorrow Joseph and I would have celebrated our 5th anniversary. I'm not too agitated by that. The reality is, I'm really happy where I am now. I miss him deeply sometimes, I miss what we had. But as George Harrison said, all things must pass. And as I read on G-K's FB profile, it's better to have loved and lost than to live with the psycho the rest of your life. But yeah, I miss that psycho, anyway. Particularly when CR talks about him, about how they lived on the streets and the adventures they had. Joseph is something else. You don't meet, let alone engage in intercourse with, many people that seem to come straight out of a cartoon or a movie.
It hurts me horribly to say this but it's the truth: we don't belong together. And I won't go on, because perhaps tomorrow I'll feel like talking about this in depth. But all things considered, I'm fine. I'm genuinely fine. I have let go of many feelings, or at least they're less intense.
Anyway, right now I'm in an awesome mood. I have a few plans for this week and I'm talking to Art. We keep talking every night, for hours, non-stop. We don't speak in romantic terms anymore, but it's great -for lack of a better word- hanging out with him.
Today is Fidel's birthday. I talked about him during my high school years. He was my teacher and my friend. Happy birthday, Fidel, wherever you are.
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