Exhausted and self-loathing.
Monday, 07/13/09 - 9:48 pm.

Hi. This entry will be a little random.

On saturday, I earned $20 with my patient (regardless of the money, I am SO enjoying his case) and then spent the afternoon with Michelle, who is leaving next sunday. Yesterday, I transcribed my cases and went out for coffee with my friend Victor. It was a lovely, rainy afternoon.

You know, I love Paul Rudd.

Now, I'm tired and a little stressed, because it's highly likely that I'll get to translate long documents, thanks to Ahmed, who linked me to his coworker in need. It's a gig, you could say, I just hope I can pull it off. Today I barely had time at the office, catching up with work, after being three days at the beach. And then I had a meeting at the clinic, with W, and that lasted about two hours and a half. I was starving.

I'm exhausted. And for some reason, tonight I started thinking that Joseph must not think very highly of me, given that I was a boring, whiny person. And I started hating myself for dissapointing him. True, in this moment of my life, it'd be very hard for me to keep up with a boyfriend. I know he'd have hated how busy I am...while I do not enjoy being this busy, right know there's no other way to both make money to pay for my expenses and save, while doing something I love (that doesn't pay very well, given the context of my country). Anyway, I was saying...I hated, hate myself, for making him want to leave me. And I imagine how happy he is with Mrs Smith and I feel lame.

I guess I'll stop writing to avoid dwelling on this subject. I could use some sleep, anyway.

No, wait...Art was his old self on saturday night, begging like he used to, for me not to go offline...like, "aaaww, I wish you didn't; don't go; alright, I know you have to sleep, but I wish you stayed longer" and shit. But yeah, I didn't fall for that. I know he only thinks of me as a friend and will never be aware of the damage he caused. Whatever sign of infatuation is just him messing -albeit unknowingly- with my head. Plus, I'm very aware: a guy like him is not convenient for me.

I have yet to find someone who is convenient for me.

Also, I miss Frog so much lately.

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