I suppose standing me up is his way of saying that we're friends.
Friday, 08/07/09 - 8:08 pm.

The concert I wanted to attend tonight started at 7. I'm still home, because I never got the phone call from Lighthouse to confirm if he'd go or not. Guess this is a no, huh? I'd said I'd go, with or without him, but as soon as he said he'd call back I lost my spirit. I couldn't think of anybody else to go with, or rather, that I wanted to go with.

I'd gathered he had a family reunion. When I met his cousin, he said he'd go back to Canada on august 8th, and that date did not slip my mind. Also, I've heard and I've noticed that he comes from a close-knit family. So him saying he wasn't sure yet because there was a goodbye party for his relatives, wasn't a surprise. He said he wanted to go but his "I'll call you back to confirm" meant no for me.

Yeah, I'm ok. A little dissapointed, of course. "Maybe next time" is all I have to say about it. I wish I had the chance to see him again during the weekend, but I already called him today and calling him again to hang out would give away too much. I'm just acting tough, I actually have another excuse to contact him, but I'll keep it under my sleeve until/if the craving to see him gets mixed with the boredom of my everyday life throughout next week.

You know what would rock, though? If he made up for all the times he's stood me up, or for my Fight Club book that was stolen. Wouldn't that be something.

Now I'm facing a weekend without plans, right before I get back to the misery of my job. I have discovered I do not want to go back, mostly because I hate my bosses, their gender discrimination and other attitudes that I wish not to discuss here, for this is my happy place (contrary to what may seem, given how sometimes it's filled with unhappy things). But at least until december, I must hold onto that job. It'd be awesome if it was part-time. I want to work at the clinic. I want to work as a psychologist, dammit.

Anyway, a weekend without plans, I was saying. I must come up with something to boost my mood for monday (ugh). I'll go to the movies, I suppose, even if it's by myself. That's a start.

I'm still dissapointed, of course. A little heartbroken, but I'll live. At least I can't say I didn't try to get close to this guy. But if he is just not that into you (damn, I feel like watching that movie), what can you do?

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