Saturday, 08/08/09 - 8:42 pm.
This morning I was invited to have breakfast with my parents and my rich uncle. There's a lot of grown-up talk, but I thought it'd be better than staying at home. It was. We went to a fancy country club. I'm thinking of paying for the meal one day. It'd be a way to give back to my uncle, who's a very caring person and doesn't deserve the shit my religious-freak aunt puts him through.
As I said yesterday, I was going to the movies today. There wasn't a lot of movies to choose from: it was either The Proposal or GI Joe. I supposed the first one was more of a chick flick but I didn't feel like seeing it. As for the other one, I thought it'd be nice if I had some testosterone by my side.
And I thought of Vic. And I called him after breakfast. And he said yes and I picked him up after lunch, on time to catch a screening before 2 pm, because before 2 pm is like one dollar cheaper. I LOVED GI Joe. I don't remember the TV show at all, but I know I used to watch it. The movie was more of a comedy to us, because Vic and I have a lot of in-jokes and when we are around each other we go on free association mode. So awesome! I had a lot of fun with him.
You know who else I have fun with? Art. I'm hoping that one day we're face to face I'll tell him he sucks for once playing with my feelings. But I enjoy our conversations. He's one of the guys that follow my train of thought, and guys who are capable of such are guaranteed to have a good time with me.
Which brings me to this question: what the hell do I have? Or more precisely, what the hell do I lack? When I came home from the movies, I started to think of people to go out with tomorrow. I reviewed names -obviously, and with great effort, I snubbed Lighthouse-, "who should I ask, who should I ask...". And it hit me: hey...nobody asks ME out.
I don't want to sound pitiful or irrational. I have a quantitative measure to prove my point: the number of phone calls/text messages to my cell phone, and the number of e-mails and FB messages (on wall and private) inviting me to get out of the house: zero, on both cases. Except for my cousin, who invited me for chinese a couple of days ago. But I mean friends.
Last night in bed, still frustrated by getting stood up, I reviewed my qualities: I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm not hard to look at; I can drive myself and my companion, I can pay for half of the check; I'm not a spoiled princess nor a heartless bitch. And still I can't get the guy. Still I can't get someone interesting to be interested in me. Then I said it's because I need to surround myself with more options. But I can't seem to accomplish that either.
Not all is bad, though. Today I was talking online to a boy I was an instructor for, back in my university days, and we were catching up and having a fun conversation. After I asked him about his girlfriend, he asked me about my love life (not "Joseph"...I thought that was very tactful, most people ask automatically about the person; although it could be that he already knew we had broken up...to me it still feels like it was a couple of months ago). I said it was a rather interesting story, but in a nutshell, I'm single. He said there was someone who would be glad to hear that. It's this guy, Orlando. He was my student, too, and in time I learned he plays in a band I have yet to see. I used to have a little crush on him, as a matter of fact, but it was harmless. So I went "aaaaaawwww".
I suppose this should be a sign that not all is lost. But I'm still pretty dissapointed because I don't know who to call to ask to go out for coffee with me tomorrow, and certainly nobody will ask me. Maybe I'll try CR, although I fear he'll feel compelled to call Lighthouse, and I don't want that trend, like I'm calling him just because he links us.