October and I are still very good friends.
Thursday, 10/01/09 - 4:15 pm.

Hello, October, how I love thee. I'm writing from my office, eating some pastry that Mr Finance Manager just gave to me. He's such a nice man. Oh, yes, I love October. It's windy and it reminds me of the end of school; it meant the beggining of a three-month freedom. These last three months of the year are my favorite.

I love October, even though this month will mark the one-year anniversary of Joseph breaking up with me. He sucks at remembering dates, so I doubt this will mean anything to him. Maybe his wife will remind him, though, if she isn't that much like him: oh, today one year ago I moved in with you, yay, I love you so much, hubby, fuck me, fuck meeee (I add the "fuck me" because those are the last words I heard from her; go figure). Meh, I was saying: October 18th. I got robbed of my Magna Cum Laude mention at the graduation ceremony and my boyfriend dumped me afterwards because he was already living with somebody else, not making it clear that he was really breaking up, thus ensuing four months of sheer agony. Such is the funny life I was leading at the time.

I've been remembering these conflicts lately, thanks to the awesome conversation I had with W on the Psychology of Male. Last night, Starfox Guy and I had a very wholehearted conversation about why he wants (and doesn't want) to break up with his girlfriend. As W predicted, he wants to be free, fool around...as W said, wanting to be single doesn't mean he wants to be alone, and Starfox Guy agreed. I'm no one to judge, and there's nothing wrong with that per se, I think. The shitty part is that there's a third party -his girlfriend- that is going to suffer a lot because of this. Starfox Guy and I talked for about three hours about this and even about Joseph and me. He and I have become good friends quickly, I LOVE talking to him, and I support him no matter what decision he makes...but I feel the most for the girl. I see myself in her, simply.

He came online right on time to save me from an emotional state last night. It was my dad's birthday but we didn't make plans because he said he was attending some conference at night but in the end didn't go. We had a normal meal, but things were tense, because my sister found out that a lady took some of her old poems and published them as her own. These days my sister and my dad have been trying to see what can be done, writing letters, making contacts, etc. The worst part is that this lady works at the same place as my sister and is known to be mentally unstable.

Aside from that tense environment, I was emotional because...well, this is embarrasing...because Grey's Anatomy gets me like that. I know, I know. I suck. My life has never been even half as dramatic, but that show gets me thinking of Joseph, since it's all about relationships going to hell and stuff. I think of him inside the show, because of some situations, and I think of him outside the show: like when in its first season, he loved it and begged me to see it with him, but then started hating it; or like when we'd argue about how irrational they were, or when he insisted all doctors were like that (I insisted on the contrary and he didn't believe me; two of my brothers, doctors, assure me that only Scrubs depicts accurately what being a doctor is like).

It's been a long, boring day, and I'm tired. 45 minutes more and I get to go home. I hope on my way home I won't find any creeper that tells me his sexual fantasies with me, like I did yesterday. I handled it very well (thank you cognitive-behaviorist approach), but I can do without that shit. Otherwise, I enjoy walking back home.

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