This kind of closeness is leaving me breathless.
Saturday, 10/31/09 - 11:54 pm.

I sort of ran away from home at 9 pm last night. My dad was on the phone and his face changed drastically when I said I was leaving. I closed the door behind me and I rushed through the garage and into JC's car, who was waiting for me.

We were going to a concert in a bar, and we were meeting with the other Prefrontals (Gustavo, Orlando, Monica) there. First we stopped at a gas station because he was asked to bring cigarrettes. He was surprised when I opened the door for him and since then I spent the night being a gentlewoman to him. I opened the doors for him, I offered him a chair, and I paid for our parking spot, although later he gave me back half of it. At some point, he laughed and said it was actually hard for him to receive all those attentions. It was a nice exercise on ideology, actually.

The concert was great. When we got there, Orlando and Gustavo were already there. The place wasn't packed, but the beverages were very expensive. I ordered a soda and shared it with the three boys. By the end of the night, we were in front of the stage and Monica arrived. I get a certain awesome vibe when the five of us are together. And then, at the end, we all went into Orlando's car, so JC and I wouldn't walk to his car, that was a little far away. What an unbelievable feeling of...freedom, is it? That thing of being in a car with four people you care for and admire, who also happen to enjoy rock music.

So JC brought me home at 1 am, and my dad's reaction was expected but highly uncomfortable nonetheless, as if I was an ungrateful child that goes out at night every night and wastes money. Still, the evening was worth the frowning and the irrational parental scolding. Being in a car with JC, talking just about anything, it's makes me love my life (I already love my life, but you know what I mean). And when I got home, he sent me a few messages to let me know he was home, and then sent a collective message to the prefrontals, inviting us to play Nintento tomorrow, since 10 am until we really have to go. We'll either cook or order a pizza for lunch. Sounds awesome.

Today, after my patient, I came home to meet with my friend Victoria. She wanted to see This Is It so off we went, and we brought along Nephew #3, who's 13 and enjoys Michael Jackson. In the middle of the movie, I get a text from JC, asking me if I was still in his town (my clinic is in the town he lives in). I said no, but did he need anything? And he invited me to play Smash Bros Brawl. Holy shit.

After dropping off my Nephew #3 at my sister's, and Victoria at his boyfriend's (who lives in my neighborhood and knows Joseph), I went to JC's house. We spent some time watching his new puppy playing with/attacking his parrot. Some amazing Animal Planet kind of stuff going on there. He has two parrots, one is the same I used to have (that passed away two months ago or so). Both our parrots are named "Parrot", and I love it that are not caged.

Then we got to business. We played Wii for about an hour, until my dad called me saying the family was going out for dinner and that I meet up with them. Right then I discovered that I'd left my car keys inside the car. What would Freud say, huh? JC had a meeting at 7:30, but just minutes before my dad called me, he was notified that it'd been cancelled. He and I have found that we share small coincidences like this one pretty this regard, what would Jung say, huh? So anyway, with his appointment cancelled, he was able to drive me to my house to get the spare car key. We went in his mom's car, which smelled like food because she caters or something. He even offered me a slice of pie.

So in less than 24 hours, he gave me a ride twice. He pointed this out; I said it was true, but this time around it was because I'd failed. He made a comment along the lines that he was making the most out of this mistake. In general, he seemed to appreciate doing this for me.

I'd called my dad to let him know I'd left the keys inside and was going home. He and the rest of my family were already at the restaurant. He didn't sound happy at all by what was going on.

But anyway, this was for the best. JC came into my house while I searched for the keys. He saw pictures of Brother #3. He was fascinated, because Brother #3 has been one of the most respected professors at our university, so seeing him like this was a shock for JC. I showed him the pictures of his wedding to Sister-In-Law #3, also a well-respected professor (JC adored her), and he went nuts by seeing all of our professors at the wedding reception.

We sat next to each other on a couch to see the pictures. I was slightly breathless by the closeness, and the fact that we were alone in my house, but obviously I stay put, like the good, boring girl I am. Then I invited him into my room to show him some stuff, which he loved. He saw my Fight Club poster and asked me if it was any good. I lent him the DVD (given to me by Joseph...the last present I got from him). It's funny to think I had JC in my bedroom.

Then it was back to his house to get my car. By then it was past 7:30. We talked a little outside my car and we hugged goodbye. He hugged me, more precisely, while I did a half-assed attempt. I didn't think he'd do that and...I don't know. I guess the hug was fair and called for, because this thing of leaving my keys inside the car was quite an adventure for the both of us.

- Victor1: you face parental rage, you have lapsus memoriae, you avoid a closeness that you secretly want, and on top of it, you're aware of it all [my feelings]. Hats off to you, dear. I would run away cowardly. In fact, if the girl had a boyfriend, I would get away automatically.
- Me: it's what I should do, I guess. Because there are three hearts at stake here.
- Victor1: I don't know. Giving in to the "should be" not always means being brave. I wholeheartedly tell you that, I think, you don't have to avoid the storm by heading to the safety of "what's right".
I don't think he [JC] is conscious of what he's doing. Unless you don't show that you're affected by what you're doing and keep a no-involvement profile, he may not notice that there's something going on. Just dedicating so much time to someone should trigger a warning. I mean, the guy is not stupid. I don't think he's doing all this just because. There's something going on, but both of you are smart enough to keep this game from going too far...but things will fall by their own weight. If you're both made of win [hahaha], things will happen; if not, both will realize you can't keep up with this. But yeah, I think it'd be the ultimate act of cowardice if you both were to follow "what should be".

I'm...I'm going to bed. Good bye, October. Thank you for being so much better than last year.

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