Saturday, 09/07/02 - 01:23 am.
Yesterday wasn't that bad at all. In the afternoon, I did take Frog for a walk. I usually don't walk her further than 7 houses away from mine to the left and one house before the corner to the right....delinquency rates mixed with paranoia. But my mom told me she'd walk with me and asked if I wanted to go around the block and I thought that if you......you know? this story sounded much better and more exciting when I was living it, so let's leave it this way.
When I got back home, I felt different. I'd gotten out of the house and that made a big difference. Remember I wished someone came over? A boy or Cel? Well, I got my wish. Awww. Cel and Art showed up and brought me some chocolate milk *tear of joy*.
Yeah, I also brightened up my day with some Aerosmith delusions.
This morning I watched The Sound Of Music on TV. It's a small coincidence that yesterday I read an entry with a mention of that movie, written back in my days, when I was in Houston. It was kind of cool to remember those times...er, except those times when I had issues with my family and therefore, with myself. Also, it reminds me of some sort of depression over missing an Aerosmith concert.
I was also reading about my dreams with boys. I suppose remembering how I used to dream of boys my first days (er, nights) in Houston made me dream of one last night...
Why, yes. Denver. I never mentioned this, but there was a period of times, two weeks exactly, that I'd dream of him every night. I'd see him in my dreams. Not necessarily doing anything. I'd just see him.
There are always little things that happen, that are related to a big thing. Lately, I've been seeing the word "Denver" in a lot of places. From a bumper sticker in a car driving down the street (some some-sport team from Denver), through the Aerosmith boards (I hope Aerosmith comes to Denver on this tour!) to even my english exam, on a statement that I had to change from active to passive voice, about Mr. John going to Denver, CO by plane.
So anyway...I had a long dream, in which I was at my school. There was Norman with Carmen and Veronica. The three people I hate to have in the same space at the same time (8th grade traumas). Blah, blah, blah...all of a sudden, I was in my bedroom. Denver and I were watching a cool movie on TV (I can't remember which one, but I do remember it was cool). We were an arm's lenght from each other, sitting on my bed.
(see, one side of my bed is next to the wall, so that I'll never get up with the wrong foot. When I watch TV -there's a crappy TV with only 8 channels-, I rest my back on the wall -on my biggest Aerosmith poster!- while I'm sitting on the bed)
So there we were. And suddenly I go: hey, can I rest my head on you?. He says sure, I can, and moves on next to me. And he puts his arm around me and makes me put my head in his chest. And he runs his fingers through my hair and he rubs his face against my shoulders, ears...the way he has before.
Sometimes I hate dreams concerning things I want. People have made a stigmata with them, like dreams are made to come true. My dreams of good things are usually things that will never happen, and that I know I shouldn't even think of them. They are about things I deny I want because I know I can't have them.
Sometimes I wish I could dance. Not the way cool people dance at the discoquetheques but the way people dance in The Sound Of Music. But it takes two. Small detail.
I forgot to say Aerosmith played I'm not talking at Hartford, CT, at the Cdnow.com Meadows Music Amphitheatre on september 5th, 2002.
Another Handspring and a half for 54 year old Steven Tyler. Amazing!