Saturday, 01.30.10 - 8:17 pm.
I survived the rest of the week, since I wrote on wednesday. It was a miserable week, indeed. My period arrived in the middle of one of these night also, and I couldn't sleep well, so I was even more tired AND in pain. But the misery decreased as the weekend approached.
Yesterday at noon, after work, Victoria came to my house, we worked on scholarship applications, signed up to take the TOEFL test and went to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to deliver some documents for a scholarship. It's great doing this with somebody else, especially with someone as great as Victoria. I hope our efforts pay off for the both of us. Oh, and to finish our fun afternoon, we went for key lime pie and coffee to my friend Monica's coffeehouse. It isn't hers, really, it's her boyfriend's; but she was there, anyway.
At night, I went out with CR and Lighthouse, yay! We went to see this awesome band to a bar owned by a friend of theirs. I got there with CR and Lighthouse joined us afterwards. I was supposed to pick him up, because he'd crashed his car last weekend and it was under repair. I called him in the afternoon and he failed to tell me that he had the car back. "I'll call you when I get out of work", he said. He never did. It wasn't until I picked up CR past 8 and we stopped by a caf� that we got a hold of him.
I'd never been to that bar, it was great, very underground. And very crowded. I admired the wonders of the band on my own for a while; CR hated the smoke and he stayed outside. Then Lighthouse showed up and the three of us went to a room at the back of the bar, where we sat on coushions on the floor. Lighthouse offered me something to eat or to drink. They also have juice, you know?. He knows I don't drink beer and the tone he used made me laugh, it was very cute.
Another guy, friend of both of them, joined us and we talked. Well, I mostly listened. I saw Lighthouse roll a joint and the whole time I was sitting very close to him. When I offered to switch places with CR so he could hear what Lighthouse was saying (the music was very loud), Lighthouse put his hand on my knee and told me I didn't have to move. He insisted so his hand was on my knee for a little while, and instead he leaned over me to talk to CR, who was to my left.
I followed the two boys and the other guy out of the place, into the street, half a block away. I sat on a sidewalk as they smoked some more there and talked about our friend Fer. It was around these days, February 1st I believe, when he fell into a coma and never woke up. His funeral was on February 7th, the day Joseph got married. But anyway...they were talking about Fer's sister, who just got pregnant after some fertility treatment. I only saw her a couple of times, I knew her through Joseph. I was never into Fer's circle, so all names are alien to me.
Back into the back room at the bar, Lighthouse bought me a beer. I know you don't drink, and you don't have to. But what the hell, I tasted it...it wasn't so bad and I drank half the bottle, I gave the rest to him. I sat next to him again. And we talked and talked until midnight and I took a couple of pictures (CR refused to get his picture taken because he says taking pictures kill you because they steal your soul; he was serious) when my dad called me. I didn't pick up the phone I just saw the missed call. I decided to leave. I don't know if I was reverting to my old ways, but I didn't want to worry him. And I'd had my share of fun already. I was good to go.
Lighthouse offered to walk me to my car. I would have asked him and CR if he didn't offer, though. It's a matter of security, mostly. They walked me to my car. When we said goodbye he told me we were having dinner tomorrow. He pointed his finger at me, meaning I couldn't refuse.
I giggled the whole way home. I like him, you know? It's strange. At times it seems he likes me, and he certainly cares for me, I can see it in some of his attitudes. Could be that he's just being nice. Could be that he's like that with all girls, or that he isn't around girls like me much and thinks I'm cute or something. Either way, aaaawww.
But don't be fooled thinking I'm being fooled again. Lighthouse is fun, although sometimes he takes ages to explain me an idea. He is great but I'm no match for him. I feel a little physical attraction to him but the fact that he is so unreliable keeps me grounded. I've known him for a year now. I know his ways. Like yesterday, when he said he'd call me and didn't. I even have my doubts whether we'll go out tomorrow night (with CR, of course).
Also, he can't like me because I don't speak much.
I just take him as a nice distraction from my heartache. JC hasn't talked to me in days and I think this silence is what the future holds for me regarding him. At times I feel like talking to CR about Joseph and the never-ending pain but I refrain. Plus, CR is not entirely a good listener and his ideas are a little stereotyped. It's interesting talking to him but when it comes to discussing relationships and gender, I'd rather be quiet.
Today I decided to stay home. I hadn't done that in a while, which probably means I've spent money everyday, but, ah, wisely. I have spent the day cleaning my room, writing a few things, reading, reviewing my patient's case, and, surprinsingly, not thinking a lot. Nights like last night leave me satisfied for a while.
Oh, yeah, I have a job interview monday afternoon. It's for the psychologist position at a school. Argh. I want so bad to work as a psychologist but I want so bad to keep my part time. I shall wait and see what happens.
I'll end this saying that I'm reading Oliver Twist. It's amazingly well written but it's killing me. I know it reflects an era in which children were seen as evil and there must be millions of sad stories like his, but fuck, I'm so disturbed. I feel like putting it down but I just read faster hoping to find good news. There must be good news ahead!
Hey, that kind sounds like my life right now. Although nowhere nearly as dramatic as Oliver's :(
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