Saturday, 04.10.10 - 10:06 pm.
I blocked and erased JC from my messenger contact list on thursday night. Much to my affliction, that same night, he still talked to me online...there must be a glitch in my messenger (it's not MSN, since I've gone Linux). I have blocked and erased him four times and I still see him when I connect again.
It was a great, funny conversation, though, like the ones we used to have in the past. But he said he'd be right back and never came back, and I went to bed at midnight waiting for him; I'm still stupid, on ocassion. But I didn't change my mind. I may not be able to erase him but he remains blocked. Lately my hurt has turned into resentment. I love him but I don't want to talk to him anymore.
Last night I had an awful, long dream. I *think* I dreamed the whole day, I mean, I lived the whole day in my dream. But the important part is that I was at JC's house with a bunch of people, including my friend Victoria. I left his house and I got lost trying to leave his apartament building (in reality, he lives in a house, not an apartament). I ran into ghosts hiding behind doors (scary as hell!) and when I finally made it out, I ran for miles through a meadow, and I tried to jump over a ditch but I fell in a river, and I had my laptop in my backpack. I got out of the river and walked alongside.
The river turned into a road and I kept running and running, and I was wet, and my backpack was ruined without a doubt. I finally I made it to a little house that was like an outdoor lobby to everything I'd left behind, including JC's apartament building. I sat down at one of the cafeteria's tables, and then Joseph's pregnant wife showed up, and Joseph was coming behind her and they ordered fries. Joseph noticed me; we locked eyes but then I turned my face away. He stared at me until I got up and went to the restroom. I used the stall for persons with disabilities. Then I left that lobby and kept running down the road.
The end. It's a complex dream and I'm not going to think whether it means somethings. Looks like a bunch of random ideas put together. The Joseph and JC interactions are obvious but that's about it. I just remembered that the last time I met with JC we talked about ghosts' tales and how we both get a little nervous about them.
Moving on.
Today after seeing one patient at the clinic (the other one cancelled), I met up with my friend Lorena and her 5-year-old brother. We went for pizza and the child seems hyperactive, but he's a riot. Then we dropped him off at their house, and Lorena and I went to a park and then to have coffee at Monica's boyfriend's coffeehouse (we were the only ones there). It was a lovely afternoon with her and we read National Geographic magazine.
I've been tired since thursday night, so I didn't go out with CR and Lighthouse tonight. And they didn't call me either, hopefully I can see them tomorrow. Plus, I'm working on my book...I'm getting the urge to be done with it, it's about time.
What do you know, this turned out to be a short, slightly uneventful entry, but it shall be kept for memory's sake. Speaking of, a couple of days ago my friend Angel searched aaaall of my entries for mentions of himself (when I nicknamed him "Head") and he found a goldmine of LOLs. This diary is pretty much my hippocampus, I'm so thankful for it.