You came into my life six years ago and you have not left.
Monday, 05.03.10 - 7:53 pm.

Ok, hang on, I have a very funny "dear diary" moment. It's actually the highlight of my day.

You remember DenimJacketGuy, aka Trent? The boy I have a crush on? I met him today. Uh-huh, like, OMG!.

No, not really. You know WHY I met him? Because I ran into Cel, and he is her boyfriend,. Small world, huh?

No, I'm not sad over that, of course. That boy was just eye-candy for me. I tend not to fall in love at first sight, you know? I just liked him. I liked his style: jeans, t-shirts, the denim jacket, the bandana around his wrist, skinny, tall, short hair, the black wristband. I love that image.

Ooooh, we shook hands!
May 3rd, 2006

DenimJacket Guy, Trent...Joseph. He was not my friend Cel's boyfriend. I met Joseph today six years ago. I didn't know he'd go on to become the most influential person in my life. The love of my life. The demon who shattered me.

That day I was carrying around the tiny harmonica that came with my copy of Aerosmith's Honkin' On Bobo as a necklace. I met him at the bookstore corner in campus. My friend Cel introduced him to me, we kissed on the cheek (or was it just a handshake?) and I said "nice to meet you". She blew on my harmonica and she tried to call his attention. He just looked around nervously, like he wanted to bolt. He was actually nervous about meeting me and didn't know how to act.

I suppose today would have been a good day to post what I've written about him. I won't do it. Perhaps it'd be more fitting to post it on May 17th, the date of our anniversary. Or May 30th, when I finally found the courage to stop talking to him. Or it could be that any other day is just as good.

I remembered this date by chance. I was updating my Cast page and found the date. Today, I miss him horribly. I'm caught in an emotional hurricane, understanding that he didn't find this relationship fulfilling, that we were too different...part of me wishes he came back but he has what he wants and it's not me. He has a new baggage and I'm history.

Trent. I chuckle when I remember that nickname but everybody who knew him had the same thought, because it was true; but instead of playing guitar, he carried knives. One of these days I saw an image from Daria and I saw Trent and I felt like crying.

Anyway...about Trent. I saw him twice before my lab started, at 2 o'clock. And then I saw him again. And again. And again. And once more. I must've seen him...eight times or so. I just kept bumping into him...
May 4th, 2006

You know why I kept bumping into him so much? Because he walked around in circles just to see me, over and over again.

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