Tuesday, 04.12.2011 - 5:41 pm.
Damn, seven days! I haven't written in here in seven days. In my defense, I am getting busier and busier everyday. This master's program is starting to consume my time (can't complain, I love it!) and also, running a house with a boyfriend and a cat is hard work (again, though, can't complain!).
I have to stop calling Jake Jake, it just doesn't suit him anymore. I'd call him by his regular name but there can only be one Joseph in my life. So let's call him by his other name, Andrew. So from now on, Andrew = my boyfriend. And, for the record, he's pretty awesome.
Here's the thing: I am so fucking happy. Last thursday, friday and saturday I had my master's classes, from 9 am to 7 pm, with two breaks and lunch in between. It was exhausting. Even worse, I had the flu.
But it was amazing to wake up next to him, with our cat also warming the blankets, and to get ready together for classes. He or I would get up first and make breakfast while the other showered. In class we sat far away from each other both to not be suspicious and to pay attention. We'd come home for lunch and have some bedroom time (more on that ahead) and then go back to class.
Last tuesday we went out with his friends, we went to a bar and I had a great time. It was my first night out here. It made my flu worse, though. Also on saturday night, after class, we had out closest classmates/friends over for dinner. We debated whether to tell them we were dating and we decided against it. Someone almost walked in on us kissing but it was fun being furtive, too. They suspect it, anyway.
I'm getting tired of hiding our relationship. As a shared reason, we don't want to hear it's too soon...we know it is, but all the right conditions were there for it to happen.
As for my own reasons, I don't want people to think that I got involved with him just because of the apartment or something. Or to doubt that I will do well in the master's program just because I'm in a relationship. Mostly, my concern is to keep it off Facebook for a couple more months, particularly from my family (who could tell me the relationship may distract me, plus the usual unspoken sexual/pregnancy concerns) and from Q. The poor guy still is hopeful about "us", and while it upsets me and it feels like a burden, I also know what it's like to be hopeful while the other person has already moved on and is happier with somebody else. So I'm just being careful and taking my time.
But we're starting to tell people. Andrew told John, our closest friend, and he was very happy for us. He knew from the first day of class that Andrew liked me and was hoping for things to happen all along. Also, Andrew told one friend of his that spent the night at our apartment during the weekend. I have told a few of my closest friends, too, as you may have noticed.
Andrew makes me incredibly happy. I'm not the one to place the responsibility for my happiness on somebody else but he really has that effect on me. I haven't felt like this for someone since, well, Joseph. This thing of looking forward to seeing him, to enjoying every second together, to enjoy missing him, to be determined to make it last.
I don't want to go overboard with the information, but he's turned out to be amazing in bed. Our awkward beggining is long gone and he's so, so good. He's the best sex I've ever had. And a couple of nights ago, it was the best toe-curling, throat-ripping orgasm I've ever had. Sorry, no more TMI.
He makes me laugh. He makes me honestly laugh out loud, which is perhaps what I love the most about him. I love his sense of humor and his quick wit. He's such a nerd and we joke all the time, interwebz references included. He's quite a gentleman, focused on his career but not a workaholic, and he's incredibly caring. He reminds me of Joseph in the sense that he's very passionate towards me...I feared I'd never find someone who was like that, while also being able to be a serious adult when needed. Joseph was passionate, Q was a serious adult. Andrew fulfills both requirements.
And I think, this isn't me being lucky, this is me being blessed. I love Andrew. Like, I am falling in love with him more and more everyday. This is the part that I don't control, these feelings either happen or don't. Of course we work on our relationship everyday, though. I am aware we are still in our honeymoon period and we haven't had a crisis of any kind yet (I'm quite calm and so is he, so we'll probably be ok for a good while), but I trust we'll be able to handle them when they happen. I am so enjoying this, I love him.