Sunday, 10.30.2011 - 12:05 pm.
There is something I left out in my previous entry, and I was hoping I could get to it before the month ended. You know, because now I'm not so disciplined (or have time or enough stuff to say) to come and write in here as often as I used to.
My friend Victoria went to Colombia to be with her boyfriend. We discussed this for months because she's a free spirit and a feminist in development, and hated the idea of leaving everything behind for a guy. Plus, she was becoming disenchanted regarding some aspects of the relationships. But also, she was head over heels. In the end, they met each other halfway and she agreed on going there for a month, on "vacation", and see how everything turns out.
That's kind of like a tangent, though, this has nothing to do with her leaving. She was the one who informed me of something, and what follows is pretty much what I discussed with her afterwards, because we are still very close and we write lenghty e-mails to each other. Well, a few days before she left for Colombia, she wrote me an e-mail about JC, telling me that his girlfriend had broken up with him.
And she broke up with him because she found out what she had suspected all along: he had gone out with someone in the meantime between their break-up and their get-back-together. That someone is, of course, me. A friend of hers, whom I have never talked to in my life and barely know what he looks like, told her my name in a conversation about how messy relationships are, assuming she already knew. She didn't. She was livid. And that night (a few weeks ago, at the most, I think), she broke up with him. This friend called JC and apologized for screwing up but JC took the blame on himself for never telling her the truth.
On the plus side, I am glad they are broken up. That's very mean of me, but the three jerks of 2009 are to this date with the girls they overlapped me with, so my hurt ego is glad that at least one of them is not anymore. JC's girlfriend is a sweetheart, very smart and, say, sporty. But I couldn't stand her, there was this psychodynamic mechanism that made me bitter towards her, like she'd been the one to cause me harm, when it's the other way around.
And that's the minus side. It's not my fault as much as it's JC's for being impuslve and playing like this with people, and in retrospective he's the one who put me in this position, but I feel really bad that the mention of my name is enough to break up a long lasting relationship.
I was friends with JC. I had the hots for him but I knew the boundaries so I never chased after him. It's not my style. He kept calling me and looking for me until I gave in, thinking, hey, he ended things with the other girl, anyway. I didn't cause the trouble that broke them apart, I actually came into his life because they were in trouble. Him wanting to break up and her not wanting stirred the then-recent Joseph cataclysm, so I was interested in Melissa not winding up so hurt by helping JC handle things with her in more sensitive ways. Go fucking figure.
I feel really bad that I was placed in that position of "the other woman", a position that I find disrespectful for both women involved while, of course, the man wins no matter what. It reminds me of the first time Joseph broke up with me and dated a fake redhead punk princess for a month, following some dumb logic I cannot comprehend to this day but it was to win me back. And it worked. He dumped her without explanation, like she was useless, and returned to me. I never had hard feelings for her, I just felt very sorry for her. That's no way to treat anyone. I wish I had been aware enough of that to give Joseph some hell about it. Instead, I was just happy to have him back. I'd never realized how manipulative that was.
JC put me in the position of the readhead, although more than manipulation, it was stupidity and impulsivity. The guy was horny, hungry for new estimulation, physically and intellectually, and we did click both ways...although, frankly, the physical part was just very awkward. But then he backed off, cooled off and broke it off with me. And he returned to his ex, who in spite of all the rage and hostility she had towards him for the break up, was willing to get back together.
Let's do the math: JC broke up with her around the end of october 2009. We had our thing at the end of november and he dumped me (without even formally dating) in the middle of december. By february, if not january 2010, he was back together with her. They were happy but it seems there was always that shadow over her, that something had happened with somebody else. A year and a half later of suspicion, she confirms it and breaks up with him.
Which I can't help but consider very stupid on her part, though it could be I'm being harsh because I feel bitter towards her. If you're going to be holding a grudge over a suspicion for so long, just don't be with that person. She had that suspicion for over a year and yet agreed to be living their relationship like nothing happened. When she finds out it's true, it's over, as punishment for lying or whatever else. I mean, I'm not sure if she's mad because he wasn't honest about what happened with me, or because she considered it cheating, or because it's just crappy that a guy breaks up with you and quickly runs off with somebody else (oh, hello, Joseph). Still, you made a fool out of yourself and lost your time with this guy for over a year.
As you can see, my feeling bad over being in the middle of this doesn't stand for long. I was used by him, I'm now legitimately hated by her, but I'm the real winner here. Oh, LOL. Me, a winner, that's a first. Ok, this isn't a competition, but the facts are that the causes of the first break-up existed before my presence in their life, I didn't get involved with JC until he was single, and when he asked me to back off (aka dumped me) I complied and stayed away. I didn't cause a single drama. And yet I have enough power to haunt and cause their second break-up just by the mention of my name.
Give me a fucking break.
Speaking of the jerks of 2009, Art and the girl he overlapped me with are together right now. As in, Claudia travelled to L.A. to see him this week. I really love her, she and I, like Art and I, went to school together and she's a sweet girl. It does make me bitter seeing them still together, having quite the succesful long-distance relationship (which to me is not a relatioship and thus I dodged a big one), so on the verge of getting married. I do wish they broke it off, too, considering he isn't very trustworthy and she is a handful. But the real reason is that I hate how guys can get away and even get rewarded after hurting a girl so much.
But here's the happy side to end this entry! Miss V. sent me a wonderful Beatles package and that made my day...thank you! Also, yesterday a friend/classmate from my master's took me to Puerto Saavedra, a beautiful, freezing small town by the sea. We went with her boyfriend and brother, and with Andrew. I had a wonderful time and I was so grateful for her invitation. One more place I can cross off my list.